It feeds, Scully ... It must FEED!

Welp, it looks like the lid is just about to be blown off Hillary Clinton's involvement with a known child trafficker, thanks to a partnership between Wikileaks and the brave detectives of a rabid pro-Donald Trump group on Reddit. Seriously, they've really got the goods on Clinton this time. The evidence is indisputable, at least if you're a complete idiot.

Thursday, the Wikileaks Twitter account linked to an entry on the slobbery pro-Trump Reddit forum /r/The_Donald; the Wikileaks Tweet described the Reddit thread as a "Significant, if partisan, find showing how the Clintons supported child stealer Laura Silsby," complete with a screen capture of part of the main post in the thread (our screencap is a little bigger):

That's heavy stuff! Connections between Hillary Clinton and a "convicted child abductor" who was caught stealing children from Haiti, almost certainly for evil purposes! And just look at the intense interest Hillary and her cabal took in getting those sicko pervs released! So let's take a look at just how nefarious this all is! You might remember the basics: after the 2010 earthquake, a group of 10 American Baptist missionaries were arrested at the border of the Dominican Republic as they tried to cross with 33 children who they said were orphaned by the earthquake. On further investigation, it turned out that most of the kids actually had parents back in Haiti, some of whom had tearfully given their kids to the missionaries in hopes they'd have a better life. The missionaries were initially charged with kidnapping and criminal association, but ultimately all charges against the Americans were dropped except for those against the group's leader, Laura Silsby. Silsby was charged by a Haitian court with child abduction and conspiracy, but those charges were eventually reduced to "arranging irregular travel." She was convicted, sentenced to time already served, and returned to the USA.

So, how was Hillary Clinton part of this, and where's the child sex trafficking? Mostly in the fevered imaginations of the excitable internet detectives of r/The_Donald, who decided that since Clinton discussed the case in emails with Huma Abedin and other aides, she was going out of her way to help the child abductors escape justice. This leaves out one tiny detail: as secretary of State, Clinton's job was to help American citizens arrested in other countries. Huma emailed her articles about the case, and from there, Reddit decided that can only mean they're all child traffickers trading children all over the world for sex slaves, and probably hitching rides on Jeffrey Epstein's sex plane, too. As far as any real connections between Clinton and Silsby beyond the official work of monitoring what's going on with Americans arrested in a high-profile news story, there's bupkis -- feel free to look at the shocking evidence linked at Reddit yourself.

For that matter, while it certainly looks like Silsby was running a seriously half-assed "mission," it's not clear whether she was just incredibly naive or up to something hinky; the only evidence of potential hinkiness is that the Dominican guy who initially offered to serve as the missionaries' legal advisor in Haiti, Jorge Puello, was wanted on sex trafficking charges in El Salvador; after that news (and the fact that he wasn't really a lawyer) came out, several of the Americans said no thanks, we'll get real lawyers. But hey, that makes him associated with Hillary Clinton!

Also, in the Reddit discussion that followed, one poster linked to an "investigation" titled "Mountain of Original Research for a Massive International Pedophile Ring," with even more devastating proof that Hillary was right in the middle of a crew of international sex traffickers, except for the minor detail that as far as we can tell from a quick search, the name "Clinton" isn't even mentioned in that mountain of "evidence," which also touches on lurid stories of Satanic Ritual Abuse. But hey, it's in the Reddit thread, so now it's "connected" -- by Occam's Duct Tape.

Parts of the ASTONISHING REVELATIONS are making it into "the media," if by "media" you mean the not especially truthy conspiracy website True Pundit, which claims, based on "sources," that the NYPD has looked at the emails on Anthony Weiner's laptop computer and found all sorts of evidence of Clinton's "involvement" in

  • Money laundering
  • Child exploitation
  • Sex crimes with minors (children)
  • Perjury
  • Pay to play through Clinton Foundation
  • Obstruction of justice
  • Other felony crimes

As usual with anything published at True Pundit, there are no named sources, no links to anything verifiable, and for that matter, not even any mention of the supposedly incriminating stuff from Reddit. The Silsby case also gets a mention in a breathless article by conspiracy aficionado Mike Cernovich claiming John Podesta's leaked emails prove Hillary Clinton's "inner circle" is a SEX CULT WITH CONNECTIONS TO HUMAN TRAFFICKING. A bunch of other obscure rightwing blogs have also picked up the shocking Reddit story, too. And maybe conspiracy theory clearinghouse WND is on it, as well; a few days ago, it promised that the “biggest scandal in U.S. history” would be revealed any minute now, although that story appears to be more about an unverifiable claim Huma Abedin sent all the classified information in the world to Anthony Weiner's laptop -- there's nothing there about the supposed Haitian child trafficking scandal that didn't actually involve any children being trafficked (they were returned to their parents) or Hillary Clinton doing anything other than her job of keeping track of Americans accused of crimes in other countries. After talking it over, Yr Wonkette has decided not to call the Clinton campaign for comment on whether Hillary is a child sex trafficker. Yes, we're participating in the coverup.

All in all, we should expect to hear a lot more of this nonsense in the more frantic corners of the Wingnuttosphere. It looks like some really solid police work from the type of amateur Reddit sleuths who completely screwed the pooch in accusing a bunch of completely innocent people of being the Boston Marathon bombers.

[Wikileaks on Twitter via Kevin Collier / Reddit / NYT / BBC]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Dame Peggington Noonington awakened in the New York Publick Librarie in a daze. She did not know what series of unfortunate events had led to this moment, but she vaguely remembered that last time this happened a passerby on 5th Avenue had transported her there, having found her on a stoop with eyes glazed over, muttering "Buk! Buk!" If we're being honest, she was choking on gin, but the well-meaning Good Samaritan took her for a woman craving classic literature, and Peggy was OK with allowing that illusion to stand.

As she stumbled toward the exit to summon her chauffeur -- Manuel, who was also her houseboy, who probably was responsible entirely for her current predicament, and would be subject to a talking-to about his derring-do as soon as Peggy's head stopped pounding -- she happened upon a display of new arrivals. "Buk! Buk!" she said. Swallowing hard, she grabbed a copy of Michelle Obama's book and went out onto the New York street without actually checking the book out.

Peggy arrived home safely, if a bit worse for the wear. She had been thinking about America's royal families a lot lately, especially the genteel women who serve as First Lady. She was particularly charmed by Melania Trump's show of wicked mischief last week, firing the deputy national security adviser without regret! Peggy remembered how fun it is to fire people and stuck a Post-it on her forehead to remind her to fire Manuel later, for leaving her destitute among the commoners at the librarie.

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Congratulations to the Dear Leader on his flawless victory in court against the media dogs at the CNN cesspool of evil. Donald Trump is a champion of the people's right to civil discourse, and he will not hesitate to slap those who hurt the dignity of the Supreme Leadership. Take it from Ri Chun-hee Sarah Huckabee Sanders:

Today the court made clear that there is no absolute First Amendment right to access the White House. In response to the court, we will temporarily reinstate the reporter's hard pass. We will also further develop rules and processes to ensure fair and orderly press conferences in the future. There must be decorum at the White House.

Leave aside for a moment the screaming irony of the Pussgrab Administration lecturing the press on decorum. Literally none of what the Huckster said here is true. Judge Timothy Kelly ordered the White House Press Office to reinstate Jim Acosta's hard pass immediately on Fifth Amendment grounds. He didn't reach the First Amendment issues of press access because he didn't have to.

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