William And Kate Have Been Told Their Fate Once Charles Finally Becomes King. Tabs, Wed., Aug. 5, 2020

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Nine important things we've learned about the coronavirus (so far). — Laura Helmuth, Scientific American

Oh Deborah Birx, I just feel sad for you. — Washington Post

The raging jacobins at The Bulwark have entumbreled Peggy Noonan, oh no! (Charlie Sykes in Bulwark newsletter I guess)

Things we learned from the Obama stimulus/bailout: This one is TOO SMALL. (Politico)

"U.S. prosecutors do not charge Portland protesters with antifa ties." Well, Reuters, why would they charge them with something that is in no way, shape, or form against the law?

Aurora, Colorado, police continue to cover themselves in glory, we mean continue to handcuff entire Black families facedown on hot asphalt after confusing their license plate for someone else. I've already seen the newly named lady police chief look sick and apologize for her force more than I've ever seen any cop apologize ever. And she was named chief on Monday. (ABC)

We can't expect some mass exodus back to reality among Trump supporters, of course. It's very common for people who have been defrauded to refuse to admit it, and to defend the con man who targeted them, rather than admit that they were wrong in the first place. This is visible in cults like Jonestown or Heaven's Gate, where members may be willing to die before conceding they should never have followed their cult leader. Trump's approval rating remains stuck at a stubborn 40%, so now we know: That's the proportion of Americans who would rather risk death from a pandemic than admit that maybe the liberals were right all along. — Amanda Marcotte at Salon

Oh that's weird, all the Kanye West campaign people are Republican Trumpers! Huh! (New York mag)

Does Trump think he's supposed to get a taste, for "protection"? Trump Demands That His Government Should Take a 'Substantial' Cut of TikTok Purchase Fee. (TechCrunch)

The biggest Trump financial mystery? Where he came up with the cash for his Scottish resorts. — Mother Jones

Yes, sometimes social justice warriors are shitty fabulists who make things up for attention. "The Anonymous Professor Who Wasn't: A professor at Arizona State University does not exist."— New York Times

"Jesus was white. Did he have white privilege?" Michael Harriot hurts some poor evangelical idiot who never did nothing to nobody. Just kidding, GET HIM. — The Root

Team Fucking Ratched, like did the rest of you even read-watch the same Cuckoo's Nest I read-watched?

Ratched | Official Trailer | Netflix youtu.be

How a Cheese Goes Extinct:

There are countless ways for a cheese to disappear. Some, like Holbrook's, die with their makers. Others fall out of favor because they're simply not good: one extinct Suffolk cheese, "stony-hard" because it was made only with skimmed milk, was so notoriously bad that, in 1825, the Hampshire Chronicle reported that one ship's cargo of grindstones was eaten by rats while the neighboring haul of Suffolk cheese escaped untouched.

New Yorker

Poynter's sentence of the year. Wonkette's was better. (Poynter)

These are very bad parents, this person is not the asshole. — Am I the Asshole?

Martini wants an eggplant recipe? Martini gets an eggplant recipe! I will do this fucking tomorrow. — Mediterranean Dish

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