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Wingnut Camper Art Project Shares How-To Secrets For Sexing Obama

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Here is what a Teabagger stream-of-consciousness novel looks like self-published on the back of a camper, like all major wingnut tomes. Tea Party, meet your T. S. Eliot.


It is almost as if we are looking at a Teabagger brain scan, or "draft one" of Michele Bachmann's campaign tour bus, or the lyrics to a song Teabaggers use to sing to their children to sleep at night. There are some important questions, though. Why is most of it spelled correctly? Why is the handwriting so legible? Is Satan actually a bisexual? Why is it called even called "Revelation" when every wingnut already knows about all of these things?

"Obama wants soldiers to wear to pink uniforms, nylon stockings, and high heels, it turns him on" is probably our favorite verse. Does TEA S. Eliot know for sure that this works, from practice? We will try to remember it for future chances to sex the prezident. [Reddit via Wonkette Operative "Leo S."]

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Employees in Donald Trump's White House have the career mortality rate of Bubonic plague victims and are less attractive to future employers. Adding to the body count is Darren Beattie, one of Trump's speechwriters who was fired on Friday. It's a hard gig trying to make the thing currently squatting in the Oval Office sound like a functioning human being. Just take a quick look at Trump's E. coli-infected word salad when removed from a sanity-boosting Twitter format.

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In April of this year, Blake Farenthold, the footie pajama-wearing Texas congressman who once lamented that he couldn't challenge Susan Collins to a duel on account of her not having a penis, resigned from office -- several months after news broke that he had used $84,000 in taxpayer money to settle a sexual harassment suit brought against him by Lauren Greene, his former communications director. In the suit, Greene alleged that the Congressman told her that he had "wet dreams" about her and also informed her that she could show him her nipples. Just, you know, normal stuff like that.

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