For a bunch of tough-guy immigrant haters who think tear gassing immigrants is just peachy, the far right sure does hate the idea that anyone could feel sympathy for a bunch of dirty asylum seekers. You'd think they'd have the courage of their convictions and be delighted to see a woman and her children getting tear-gassed for the crime of fleeing gang violence in Honduras, but instead, some of the top minds in the rightwing crazysphere have decided it simply makes more sense to deny that anyone worth empathy actually suffered at all in Sunday's tear gas attack at the border. So now the Brain Cell Trust at Gateway Pundit can tell you the real truth: That photo by Reuters photographer Kim Kyung-Hoon was actually staged, because that's just how evil liberals are, making a tear gas attack appear to have affected children (who aren't really in any danger anyway since all asylum claims are also fake).

In a piece written by Joe Hoft, the Stupidest Brother of the Stupidest Man on the Internet, we learn that in reality, everything is fakey fake fake because some dipshit on Twitter says so.

After further review, yesterday's 'horrific' picture of a woman with barefoot children running from the US border wall was a hoax. In the background of the picture a group of men are posing for one camera man and another is running towards another camera man. In other areas, people are just standing around. The woman with the children was just a photo-op

You want proof? Here is some very careful labeling and circling of figures in the photo to conclusively prove nobody was actually tear gassed, because there were people with cameras present. And as we all know, tear gas cannot be used around cameras. This is a known science fact!

As any analyst of actual tear gassings knows, anyone who appears to be running from tear gas is actually posed as if they were running. This is proven by the presence of some people who appear not to be running, and also by labeling some people who are running as "standing around." Truly, this is some pretty smart photo analysis.

We bet you feel pretty silly for believing you saw an actual photo of people running from tear gas!

Over at NRA TV, great thinker Grant Stinchfield explained to great thinkers Diamond and Silk that the whole thing was faked, too, because really, how fake can you get?

We all know what's going on down on the border. This is propaganda at its best. This woman with her two kids, tear gas behind her. That is what the mainstream media has been showing everywhere, not showing the military-aged men that are throwing rocks at Border Patrol agents, storming the border. I believe this whole thing was a set-up job and the media complied.

How true this is! There have literally been no other photos or video in the media of yesterday's events, except everywhere, but because this photo might make someone question the wisdom of lobbing tear gas at children, it clearly has to be a set-up by a nefarious photographer with a foreign name. In an interview with the Washington Post, Kim said "I think my picture tells the story of what's happening now," but you certainly wouldn't expect him to admit he and Hillary Clinton staged the whole thing, now would you?

Other very smart people didn't quite go so far as to call the Reuters photo fake, but nonetheless found it suspicious because after all, we ALL know the caravan is full of virile eight-foot tall "military-aged men" who are all coming to rape your white daughters and murder you. Here is Very Smart Man Dinesh D'Souza -- who knows all about crimes by immigrants -- to explain how very suspicious that incredible photo has to be:

See, he made a funny joke about how "lachrymose" the coverage of people literally being tear-gassed is. He is one very classy dude with a smart person's vocabulary. Other very smart people replied to D'Souza by pointing out that these children couldn't have walked 2000 miles barefoot or in flip-flops, because that too is science.

Also, several smart Twitter Detectives noticed those two girls looked too old for diapers to them (they're five-year-old twins), and also why is the lady wearing a "Frozen" t-shirt anyway, so there are no young children in the caravan at all and it's jolly well time to just open up on the murderous thugs with machine guns, because those people have no respect for human life. No need to worry about mass slaughter, because 1) It's an invasion of rock-throwing monsters who are all in MS-13 and 2) we already told you, there are no innocents.

You know, it's really quite important for this photo to be labeled a hoax or at least an unfair representation of those monstrous immigrants. God only knows what might happen if anyone thought this terrified mom and kids are anything like them, well then, that would be terrible.

Even DHS Secretary Kjersten Nielsen is now insisting the monstrous border invaders were mostly dangerous young men, and that "the limited number of women and children in the caravan are being used by the organizers as 'human shields' when they confront law enforcement," because for God's sake, you must not empathize.

Remember, these migrants are 12 feet tall, made of human flesh over a titanium frame, and they're coming for you. They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Also, once a massacre happens -- and it very well might -- any bodies of women or children will obviously have been planted by liberal snowflakes who want you to think these are even people. Exterminate the brutes.

[Media Matters / Gateway Pundit / WaPo]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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