Wingnuts So Mad At Big Bad Joss Whedon, For Making Sweet Love To Planned Parenthood
Badass writer/director Joss Whedon, creator of some of the best TV shows ever, is donating his money -- and yours! -- to Planned Parenthood. GUESS WHO SO MAD.
Many of you may know Joss Whedon as the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, and The Greatest TV Show That Has Ever Existed. He's directly responsible for "Our Mrs. Reynolds," the single most perfect 44 minutes TV has ever seen, an experience roughly equivalent to a unicorn orgasm in space. If we're ever faced with an alien species trying to decide whether to wipe us from existence, and they demand we show them something to prove we're worth survival, images of the Pyramids can get fucked -- "Our Mrs. Reynolds" should be the first thing we show them.
Whedon is all about the laydeez, and we have an entire career's worth of evidence as to that fact. In a 2006 speech, he asked and answered, "So, why do you write these strong female characters? Because you’re still asking me that question." In a 2013 speech, he directly compared those who do not believe women deserve equality to the Plague. Hell, the man wrote Buffy the Motherfucking Vampire Slayer, for fuck's sake. Regardless of what people on tumblr who apparently think one badly written and poorly conceived scene erases an entire career's worth of work will tell you, Whedon is a big fan of ladies getting health care for their lady business.
So it isn't surprising Whedon is willing to put his money where your clam wallet is, to kickstart a fundraising drive out of his own pocket:
Aww, look at Joss! Donating $50 for everyone who signs up to make a monthly donation (up to $100,000 of his own money) is a nice thing! It's also better than just dropping $100k on them, since it helps encourage more people to sign up for monthly subscriptions to a fine organization that does good work. Look at you, bein' all nice and stuff, Joss.
Predictably, though, conservatives were very mad, and, via RawStory, made their displeasure known on the Tweeters. SO MAD, YOU GUYS. Many of them took their maditude so far as to declare they were done with Whedon once and for all -- something a lot of us decided after "Dollhouse." OHHHH, WHEDON BURN! (We didn't mean it, Joss; we're sure you have plenty of great work left in you as soon as you stop casting Eliza Dushku.)
Just look at all this mad:
One person was very confused about anatomy:
One person's eloquence shall not be denied:
One person had trouble staying on target:
One person hit us where it hurts:
ALL THE MADZ.
Really, though, conservatives should have known Whedon was a fan of Planned Parenthood. After all, how could they have missed some of his most classic lines?
Dr. Horrible, Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog:
With my freeze ray, I will STOP -- this egregious attack on the reproductive rights of low-income women.
Firefly Opening Credits:
Take my love, take my land / Take me where I cannot stand / I don't care, I'm still free / You can't take free breast cancer screenings from me
Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
Seize the moment, ‘cause tomorrow you might be dead from a lack of free STI testing and treatment.
Malcom Reynolds, Firefly:
Now you can luxuriate in your plush Congressional office, but if your hand casts an aye vote for defunding Planned Parenthood, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you.
Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
When I say ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of an organization. You’re the one, Planned Parenthood.
Captain Hammer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-long Blog:
The hammer is my penis.
As these totally real and not-made-up-in-any-way quotes clearly demonstrate, Whedon has been in the tank for Planned Parenthood for quite a while. So if you've been supporting Whedon by buying DVDs of his work, guess what, conservatives? You've been indirectly supporting Planned Parenthood, too! Yay! Everyone wins!
Well, except anyone who believes a complete fucking lie about Planned Parenthood chopping up unborned babbies, but fuck them, they're morons.