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WTMJ video screenshot

In yet another signal that elections no longer matter in Wisconsin, Republican lawmakers held a special session of the state legislature yesterday. It lasted under 30 seconds, just long enough to gavel the session in and then adjourn. You see, Wisconsin law gives the governor, Democrat Tony Evers, the authority to call a special session, so he called one to bring forward two gun safety bills. But the law doesn't require the legislature to vote on bills or debate them. And that's why the Rs, who got their seats through some of the most outrageous gerrymandering in the USA, dismissed the legislation in less time than it took for cops to end this summer's mass shootings in Gilroy, California (under a minute) and in Dayton, Ohio (roughly 30 seconds). As much time as the Doolittle raiders spent over Tokyo, if you're an old. But hey, it took 10 times as long as it did for a cop to shoot Tamir Rice to death, so some things are faster.

We suppose the Republicans will now expect to be praised for not only preserving the holy Second Amendment, but also for saving Wisconsin taxpayers so much money on electricity at the Capitol.


Here's some video of Republican Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald calling the special session to order and then immediately adjourning it faster than it took Yr. Dok Zoom to type and then correct the typos in this sentence. This should horrify all patriotic Americans, because it means Wisconsin's democracy is as pathetic and degraded as Dok's typing, which is THE WORST. (Caution: audio is extremely faint; remember to turn your speakers down again lest you startle the cat.)

The bills Evers wanted considered weren't exactly designed for universal confiscation of firearms, either, as Wisconsin Public Radio explains:

Under the first bill backed by the governor, background checks would be expanded to private gun sales in Wisconsin, including sales at gun shows. The second bill would instate a red flag law that would allow law enforcement to temporarily revoke someone's gun ownership rights if they're deemed to be a threat to themselves or others.

Mind you, since anything that might inconvenience the purchase and carrying of a gun is clearly the first step to not just confiscation but also concentration camps and genocide, especially of Christians, the Rs weren't about to waste their time considering some crazy socialist gun bills. Not even though the two measures are broadly (massively) popular with Wisconsin voters of both parties:

An August Marquette poll found 80 percent of all individuals surveyed, regardless of political party, support making private sales and sales at gun shows subject to background checks. Eighty-one percent supported the red-flag law.

October's Marquette poll broke those numbers into party affiliation, finding 72 percent of Republicans and 87 percent of Democrats support the expanded background checks and 74 percent of Republicans and 89 percent of Democrats support the red-flag laws.

Excuse us, Wisconsin Socialism Radio, but the God-given right to bear arms is not subject to popular vote (although the right to marry someone you love is). Besides, the polls are all fake! And bad.

Even so, Gov. Evers, apparently thinking he has any power at all just because he was "elected" to be "governor," released a statement calling out the Republicans for dismissing the bills in less time than it takes to fire off 30 or 40 rounds from an AR-15 -- more if you bought a bump stock before the communists banned them!

Oh, yes, the statement:

Republicans essentially just told 80 percent of Wisconsinites and a majority of gun owners, 'go jump in a lake,' because they didn't have the courage to take a vote — much less have a dialogue — on two bills about universal background checks and extreme risk protection orders that we know can save lives.

The speaker of the state Assembly, Republican Robin Vos, explained Thursday -- a few hours before he, too gaveled the special session in and out of existence in the blink of an eye -- that he's already heard from the voters who matter, and he knows where they stand.

"I don't necessarily want to spend a bunch of time playing politics with this, which is what it seems my Democratic colleagues really want," he said.

Well, they certainly didn't spend any time at all "playing politics" by discussing or voting on it, so give him partial credit.

Also, Vos demonstrated he can use alliteration to say absolutely nothing!

"We want to focus on where the vast majority of the issue really lies," Vos added. "I wish Gov. Evers would stop playing politics with this topic. It's all about polls and politics, not policy and progress."

Clearly, guns are simply too plosive an issue to be left to mere politicians. Thankfully, Majority Leader Fitzgerald was able to say what the real issue is when it comes to gun violence:

I don't think these bills solve the issue of gun violence, there are many other things that play into that, including mental illness [...]

I think if we could come up with a solution to the issue of gun violence or these mass shootings, then I think we -- not only the Wisconsin Legislature, but every legislature -- would be calling themselves into session to fix this issue.

See how he identified the real issue there? Mental illness, and other stuff. Which can't be named. But just the minute someone does identify why we have so many people dying from being shot, and it doesn't involve the fact that we have more guns than people in the USA, you'd better bet Wisconsin's gerrymandered Republican majority will hurry to do something about it. Might take more than thirty seconds, though.

In December, we're coming up on seven years since Sandy Hook. Thousands of children have been killed with guns in America since then, and tens of thousands injured.

But let's not rush things, except for the thirty seconds it takes to ensure we never do a goddamned thing.

[Wisconsin Public Radio / WTMJ on Youtube / WKOW]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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