Wisconsin School Board Fights Scourge Of Childhood Food Addiction By Opting Out Of Universal Free Lunch
Have you noticed something different about your kids lately? Are they demanding to eat every day? Sometimes multiple times a day? Does it seem like the dose of food that satisfied their cravings yesterday isn't enough of a fix today? Are you worried that your kids might be turning into — gasp — FOOD ADDICTS?
If so, then you're a lunatic. And possibly a member of the Waukesha School Board, in charge of the only district in Wisconsin to opt out of the federally subsidized program to provide free lunch to every child regardless of family income.
The Washington Post broke the story of the Board's brave stance against Big Lunch this morning:
"As we get back to whatever you want to believe normal means, we have decisions to make," Joseph Como Jr., president of the school board, said at the June meeting. "I would say this is part of normalization."
Karin Rajnicek, a school board member, said the free program made it easy for families to "become spoiled." Darren Clark, assistant superintendent for business services, said there could be a "slow addiction" to the service.
The kids are getting addicted to ... eating? Really? That's the argument for turning down federal subsidies in a 14,000-student district where 36 percent of kids qualify for free lunch anyway under the National School Lunch Program's income guidelines?
ARE THERE NO WORKHOUSES?
But wait, there's more! Because these protectors of our precious youth were so committed to maintaining the stigma of means-tested eligibility that they were willing to pay extra just to keep it. According to the Post, the federal government allocates $4.32 per meal under the Seamless Summer Option universal lunch program which the district opted out of, choosing instead to collect between $3.59 and $3.90 per meal through the income-based National School Lunch Program.
What if Oliver Twist, but just the first half, and make it a love story?
But do not despair of your fellow man, Wonkers! Or, maybe do, but not because of this post, since the community rallied to fight this pointless cruelty and the board has convened a special meeting for Monday to reconsider. And just to make it clear where they stand, the organizers are demonstrating right now in front of the district building in favor of just feeding the kids already, you assholes.
See? We can have nice things sometimes. If we fight these filthy fuckers tooth and nail for 'em.
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.