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Durr durr durr.


Oh, Wisconsin. Remember when you were simply a reliable purveyor of fine, plentiful cheeses, copious amounts of beer, and more sausage than Eggplant Fridays? Ah, the (fried curd) salad days.

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Nowadays, thanks to Gov. Scott Walker Derpsocket up there, Wisconsin is less the Beer, Sausage, and Cheese Coma State than it is the How Many Ways Can We Fuck Over the Poors State, and a recent food stamps law has continued the longstanding trend. In the first three months after its passage, a law requiring able-bodied adult food stamps recipients without kids at home to either work 80 hours a month or spend the same amount of time "looking for work" (however the hell that's even defined under this law) has caused nearly 15,000 Wisconsin residents to lose their food stamps.

State Rep. Mark Born (R-His Own Butt), chairman of the state Assembly's committee on public benefit reform, had the following to say about the news, and Wisconsin's FoodShare Employment and Training program (FSET):

"The FSET program was created to help guide able-bodied adults back into the workforce, or put them on the path to gainful employment while remaining on FoodShare," he said in a statement. "So far we have seen thousands of individuals follow the FSET program and secure employment as a result. It is important we continue to enact reforms and transition people from reliance on government to independence."

Just one problem: The bit where he's like "FSET is going awesome!" is just a weensy bit of total bullshit. FSET, which as you may have gathered is designed to find Food Stamps recipients work, isn't so great at the "finding people work" part of its job description. Just 7 percent of recipients in Milwaukee County (where half of able-bodied adult food stamps recipients live) have actually been placed in jobs. So there's that.

It's good that in this time of fiscal belt-tightening, the state's clearly dire budget still found room for $400 million for an arena for the sportsballs, though. I hear layups are very nutritious, so that should help people who can't afford to eat now.

[Milwaukee Wisconsin Journal Sentinel]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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