WMD Finally Found, In New York, Inside United Nations HQ
Colin Powell was right, motherfuckers, no matter how much he says he lied. When he told the United Nations that he totally knew for sure there were Weapons of Mass Destruction, his sole error was in claiming those evil weapons were in Iraq, when they were actually in the UN headquarters itself, only to be found by a cleaning crew four-and-a-half years later.
The good news, of course, is that stocks have rebounded after investors decided real chemical weapons couldn't ruin things nearly as much as the pretend WMD.
NEW YORK, Aug 30 (Reuters) -- The Dow and the S&P recovered from their earlier drops to trade flat, after U.N. officials said there was no danger from vials of chemicals found in a locked box in a United Nations building in New York.
Hooray for your portfolio! Unless you actually live in New York, in which case chances are your portfolio consists of that receipt from your payday loan.
Nerve gas found at UN building [ABC News]