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A strange thing happened yesterday afternoon -- women across the internet began denouncing the pursuit of equal rights upon learning that one David Hon would never date a feminist.


Who is this David Hon, you ask? He is a 25-year-old man from Missouri who has been described as a "journalist," despite having only about eight credits to his name dating from August 24 of this year (and most of which are pictures). Yesterday, he published an article in the St. Joseph's News-Press's lady vertical Josephine titled "Why I'll Never Date A Feminist," full of some hard truths about why a catch like him would never want to date any of us bra-burning she-devils ever in his whole life. Why? Well, first of all, because we totally hate men!

If you look for a reason to hate men, chances are you’re going to find it.

The truth is, I don’t blame women, (especially in my generation) for hating men. They’ve been told there’s a wage gap (I disagree). That there’s a culture of rape on college campuses (I also disagree). And the patriarchy is keeping them oppressed in almost every facet of their lives (I really, really disagree.).

Wow! Can you believe that so many women have been totally brainwashed into believing all these things Dave Hon disagrees with? And hating men as a result? It really is tragic. From that paragraph alone, I now understand that I totally hallucinated the time I found out I got paid at least $8,000 less then all the men I worked with, and that all of my friends who had been sexually assaulted in college were also hallucinating! But how could this be? Was Andrea Dworkin secretly a scientist who created a drug that caused women to have pipe dreams of sexism, and figured out a way to make it one of the primary ingredients in both Midol and yogurt?? Maybe!

Whatever it is, this newfangled feminism thing is ruining romance for everybody!

Political issues have been creeping into the bedroom. Now, they’re in romance. Because of the hateful culture, men are now demanding "consent texts" on campus before engaging in raunchy, post-party one night stands. Men’s Rights Activists have taken flight with a new philosophy called "RED PILL" which aims to point out how derogatory, hypocritical and vindictive third-wave feminists can be.

EW! It is so sad! So sad that a man would have to be extra, extra sure that the woman he was sticking his dick into wanted it to be there. Where is the romance in that? Clearly, David Hon himself has never engaged in any "post-party one night stands," otherwise he probably would not use the word "raunchy" to describe them. That is really a descriptor one would only use to refer to things they imagine other people doing.

Thankfully, though, there is the Reddit Red Pill community, where well-adjusted young men gather to discuss important issues like how women are totally evil and stuff, and use the words "cuck" and "alpha" and "beta" a lot. Oh, and say basically all the same things that Hon says in his lovely essay over and over and over again. He is very original, which is why women find him so intoxicating!

Hon also lays down some hard truths about what dating a feminist is like, clearly drawing from his personal experience and not from things he imagines occurs, and definitely real stories his Red Pill friends have told him.

I used to think dating across the political aisle was not only possible, but practical. Hell, if James Carville and Mary Matalin can get along, I can date someone who thinks my genitals automatically give me privileges that they don’t have, right?

Wrong.

People who are more loyal to their gender and not their significant other don’t make good partners. They will always look at you as inherently more fortunate than them. They’ve bought into the “battle of the sexes” mentality and it often pervades their perceptions of romance. Romance turns into a power struggle rather than a partnership.

Yes, these are clearly the words of a man who has had a lot of experience interacting with female humans. Especially feminists! This is how all my relationships go, actually. A gentleman caller opens a door for me, and BAM, I slam it in his face and tell him to check his privilege. These are totally normal things that happen within the context of relationships with feminists.

Hon, it must be said, knows a LOT about how normal human interactions work. For instance, his pinned tweet takes note of how disagreements go now that Social Justice Warriors have poisoned political discourse:

OH MY GOD THIS LITERALLY HAPPENED TO HIM! Can you believe?

Now, because I spend a lot of time reading through creepy MRA and alt-right forums, I see this particular sentiment a lot. A LOT. Curiously, they rarely mention exactly what it was they said that made someone think they were racist. Then, when questioned about what spurred this awful accusation, they tend to relay a tragic incident in which they merely said that they were super tired of hearing about cops killing black people and why can't they ever talk about what black people are doing wrong, or something totally innocuous like that. And who on earth would think that was racist? They are just deeply, deeply concerned about black-on-black crime for reasons having absolutely nothing to do with not wanting to acknowledge the existence of systemic racism. They say it because they care! It is sheer coincidence that the only time they want to bring this up is when an innocent black person is killed by police. Sheer coincidence!

Surely, this David Hon character is going to go on to be one of the greatest and most insightful minds of his generation. Luckily, you can get in on the ground floor and start celebrating his genius now by purchasing a mug, keepsake box, holiday ornament or 252-piece puzzle with his face on it, for some reason. By the way, my birthday is in June, but feel free to start planning ahead.

[News-PressNow]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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