bernie sanders chelsea clinton cnn congress constitution edward snowden election 2016 Humayun S.M. Khan jennifer granholm khizr khan LGBTQ marco rubio megyn kelly pt Newz Brief roger ailes Sarah McBride speech trans Trump Jr. Wonkagenda
Wonkagenda: Friday, 07/29/2016
LET'S DO THIS!
Morning, Wonkers! Here's some of the stories that may come across yr Wonkette's pixel space today.
- Hillary Clinton officially became the Democratic nominee for President of the United States! Headlining the DNC in Philly, she offered an olive branch to Bernie, a middle finger to Trump, and feel good Nice Time dreams to little girls across the world. (Read it) (Watch it)
- Chelsea Clinton talked about reading books (whatever "books" are) with her mom, then walked us all down Memory Lane with dinosaurs. It was Nice Times! (Read it)
- Khizr Khan, the father of late Army Captain Humayun S.M. Khan, questioned how Donald Trump can be an American, and told him to basically take a flying fuck at a rolling donut (or the moooooon) in a moving speech that will punch you right in the patriot parts.
- Sarah McBride became the first openly trans person to address a major party convention. No jokes here, this lady rocks!
- Former Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm put on her LOLerskates, flailed about, and mocked Trump.
- Bernie backers now have their sights set on Congresscritters!
- The DCCC might have been been breached as well, but National Intelligence Director, James Clapper, is telling everyone to not to freak out just yet.
- Edward Snowden thinks Wikileaks really screwed up, and should not be so "hostile". Wikileaks, however, thinks Snowden is a big dumb head.
- Marco Rubio will headline an event by the Orlando-based Liberty Counsel Action, a hardcore, gay hatin' rodeo.
Reminder: Rubio is up for reelection, tell your friends.
- Trump began stomping his feet and complaining about being buried in the headlines moments after Clinton accepted nomination because a he's a whiny little bitch.
- Shitty Dracula cosplayer, Donald Trump Jr., is accusing our President Bary Bamz of plagarisim. Yep.
- Megyn Kelly was caught fraternizing with CNN teevee people at a CNN party in Philly. Is Megyn shopping for another job? Is she just looking for free swag? Is she just not trying to be molested by Roger "The Hutt" Ailes?