Aimee Hoeber
alicia machado
Apprentice
audio tape
bernie sanders
black lives matter
brief
clinton
colombia
diet scam
Donald Trump
facebook
FARC
forced arbitration
gerrymandering
hillary clinton
jake tapper
John Delaney
kristen juras
lebron james
Lou DeCaprio
millenials
montana
Obama
pt news
pyramid scam
quickstik
roger stone
roy moore
rudy giuliani
sexxx
silhouette solution
Snazzle Snacks
Snazzle Snaxxs
trump hotel
Trump Network
washington d.c.
wells fargo
wikileaks
Wonkagenda: Monday, October 3, 2016

Morning Wonkaroos! We hope you're well-rested, because we got shit to talk about! Here's some of the stories yr Wonkette may be pixelating sometime today!
- Donald Trump gave another rambling and incoherent speech on Saturday where he just insulted people for about an hour by sputtering sentence fragments.
- Some man-haters are telling reporter people that Donald Trump wanted his Apprentices to be bangable ladies with HUGE boobs.
- Hillary Clinton SAYS she doesn't like greedy bankers, and she's going to prove it too, with LAWS!
- Colombians (the country, not the coffee) seem to prefer never-ending war to the idea of peace because SOME people are just grumpy, stubborn assholes.
- Some rich, white lady from the rich, white part of Maryland wants all the rich, white people in gerrymandered-as-fuck 6th Congressional district to vote for her, so she's trekking way out to the Bumblefuck areas.
- Missouri statehouse candidates are ALLEGEDLY getting a little rapey this election season. Sigh.
- Trump's creepy hatchet man with a Richard Nixon tattoo, Roger Stone, is warning about more anti-Clinton Wikileaks bullshit to come out later this week.
- There's a reason why your bookFace feed is clogged up with tons of annoying and uninteresting political crap that isn't funny, it's called "micro-targeting," which is just a fancy way to say, "fucking commercials."
- Did you know that Donald Trump once mixed a pyramid scheme with a weight loss scam that asked that you mail them your piss?
- Cleveland's bouncing sportsball king person endorsed Hillary Clinton because she'll save all the poor children in Cleveland with her magic powers of "not being a dick."
- Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore has been suspended WITHOUT pay for the remainder of his term for being a gay-hatin' jerk!
- Somebody spray painted words on Donald Trump's new hotel in D.C. because that's probably the only way to send Donald Trump a message outside of Twitter.
- Where in the world is our President B. Barry Bamz? That 'ol globe trottin' so and so!
- Even the goddamn Pope wants you to vote next month on Tuesday, November 8!
- In Case You Missed It: Here's SNL's cold open with Alec Baldwin as 'gina-spewing Donald Trump!
- And here's your morning Nice Time! It's disgustingly cute baby ducks!
Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.