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Morning Wonkers! Happy Fall Equinox! Remember, pumpkin spice is really just a seasoning peddled by the secret lizard people cabal to fatten us up and dumb us down, just like Donald Trump's health policy. So grab some old fashioned coffee and get comfy with yr super sexxxy Wonkette; here's some of the stories yr Wonkette may craft clever wiener jokes about today.

Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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