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Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Morning Wonkers! Here's some of the stories that may show up on yr Wonkette today!
- Is (PATRIOT) Donald Trump actually Charlie-loving, draft-dodging, hippy-coward?
- First it was Bloomberg, then it was Cuban, and now Warren Buffet has tossed his support behind Clinton, and is utilizing his wealthy, wrinkly old balls to piss all over Trump's taxes (or a lack thereof). [That is not how balls work, Dom.]
- The Houston Chronicle has surrendered to the P.C. police and endorsed Hillary Clinton because they're un-American.
- The little, racist murdering shit from the South Carolina church shooting is questioning the constitutionality of the death penalty.
- This graph from the old, grey lady shows you all the monies people are giving to presidenting people. PATHETIC! DISHONEST!
- Some crazy Jesus freak thinks California teaching LGBT history is making kids pedophiles, or willing victims, or something.
- A right-wing radio blowhard is threatening to leave the country if Clinton is elected. You know what to do!
- The Mass-hole legislature in Massachusetts just passed a bill aimed at eliminating the gender pay gap!
- New libelous LIBERAL numbers suggest that the GOP should have just not had a convention because they've fallen further down the shit pile.
- Here's another story about how Jill Stein is bat-shit insane to trick you into just planting your own damn trees and keeping your Bernie tattoo.
- Hannity continues his long, slow fall into senility after suggesting that the Khan family is just trying to shove Sharia down our Jesus-loving pork holes.
- Fareed Zakaria called Trump, "a bullshit artist," on live teevee. It's OK, he's just another Muzzie immigrant who hates freedumbs. Let's verb, America, adjective!
- Samantha Bee took us on a stroll down memory lane and summed up the RNC and the DNC because she has funny freedoms pouring out of her wherever.
And, just for being good, here's some extra special Nice Times for you!