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While the President's away, Jenna will play. In this special (though non-dry humping) edition of Wonk'd, we present an extended account of one drunk liberal's run-in with the beery blonde in addition to sightings of Novak, McAuliffe [things are slow, aren't they], Clinton, Gannon, Liz Phair sorta, Carville and Matalin, Miller kinda, Nader, Wilson, Gonzales.


A reminder: Because it is August and we are desperate, we are accepting sightings of famous-for-D.C. types even if they are outside of D.C. However, we don't really collect famous-famous sights outside of D.C. (That guy who sent in a thing about running into Keanu Reeves in Chicago? We're just going to assume you're his agent.) Anyhow: Sightings are sent in by readers. Send yours to:

I know you like to keep up with all things Jenna, so I thought you'd be interested to know that I spotted her last night at the Secret Machines/Kings of Leon show at 9:30 Club. Walking up to the bar, I noticed a pack of 6 really good looking girls who were way over-dressed for the 9:30 Club. One of them looked like Jenna, but I just figured it was just some girl who looked like her. But then one of the other girls walked up to her and said, "hey, JB, you wanna go up by the front of the stage?" I was now convinced it was her.

Jenna sighting continues and other sightings follow after the jump.

I went back and told my friend, who called bullshit on me. So to test whether it was her or not, my genius friend decided he'd walk by her, bump into her, and see if secret security arrested him. He did the walk-by, basically hip checked her, but got no SS reaction. I was still convinced it was her, so I walked by again. I noticed a tall guy dancing behind her. Remembering that Jenna was dating a Wake Forest dude (I also went to Wake), I said to the guy, "Hey, didn't you go to Wake Forest?" He said yeah, and I asked him his name: "Henry Hager". At that point, Jenna butted into our conversation, and I told her that we should go make babies, just to piss off her dad.

OK, I didn't really say anything til later, when there was a lull between songs, and I was about 30 feet away: "Hey Jenna, your father's a douchebag!" in my best loud-as-shit voice. Drunk liberal 1, First Daughter 0.

Last night at 7:00ish I saw Novakula and the wife arriving at Georgia Browns for dinner. Needless to say, I was shocked to see him before the sun went down. He didn't look particularly crazy, more curmudgeonly than anything, but I played it safe and hid under the table like my mother always told me to do.

I was sitting in the lobby of the Intercontinental Hotel in Kigali, Rwanda a couple of weeks ago when who should arrive but Bill Clinton? He was here doing some work on HIV/AIDS for the Clinton Foundation. I asked for a picture, he asked my name. He sounded sick and seemed very tired. General impression is that he's still trying to make up for guilt over what he didn't do in 1994 - and still maintaining a friendship with Rwanda's president, despite the latter's rather nasty activities in the DR Congo next door.

Saw Jeff G. on the Capitol South Metro platform. No hair and a dark blue suit, jacket on his arm. Wasn't quite sure and asked him to strip and assume the faun position. He refused, but I'm pretty sure anyway.

On Friday at Birchmere, Liz Phair, looking particularly trailer trashy said a friend snuck her in to Sen. Reid’s office for a visit – she mentioned LBJ’s scratched-in initials on the desk. It could definitely be worth asking if there are any pictures of the blow job queen with the Senate minority leader.

Sorry for the delay but last Monday my wife's family swear they saw James Carville and Mary Matalin walking west on King Street in Old Town near the waterfront. I was enjoying my ice cream cone nearby but inside the store so I can't swear it happened...

zell miller is always at yard sales in north georgia -  he likes to buy old hats

I ran into Ralph Nader on the street at 15th and P, NW on July 21.  He was wearing a blue suit, red tie and black Yankees hat.  I got his attention, flipped him the bird and called him an asshole.  The crowd around us clapped as he scurried up into an office building.

Saw Joe Wilson this morning driving down 16th in his swank convertible. He looked ruddy and pissed off. the man has a mane to be envied. He was in t-shirt and shorts, and had one of those hands-free telemarketer/janet jackson-style phones strapped to his red, hairy head.

I spotted AG Alberto Gonzalez on 7/22 at the Santa Cruz CA. Beach Boardwalk with his family and the requsite security following 20 paces behind. It was right after Roberts was nominated to the Supreme Court -- I guess the AG realized that this would be a good time to get out of DC for a vacation. The Santa Cruz Boardwalk has been in business for about 100 years and has rides like Double Shot, Climb 'n Conquer, Fright Walk, and the Giant Dipper. I was sure it was the AG, and on Sunday 7/24 I confirmed it when he appeared from a remote in Scott's Valley, CA on the Sunday morning talk shows.

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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John Sanders high-fives a child who is not in a filthy border jail run by his agency. (US CBP photo)

The news is coming at us so fast we have to double up stories -- like little children being crammed into border detention cells without enough blankets for everyone, that is what it is like. Tuesday, we learned Acting Customs and Border Protection Commissioner John Sanders, who has only been in the job for two months, will resign effective July 5, and will be replaced by current Acting ICE Director Mark Morgan.

The news of Sanders's resignation came by pure coincidence just hours after a CBP official told the Washington Post that 100 children would be returned to a Border Patrol detention facility in Clint, Texas; this was quite a surprise given that CBP had rushed to get over 300 kids out of that same border jail starting Monday, after lawyers reported the kids were filthy and poorly fed, and that the care of very young children had been left to slightly older kids -- like seven and eight years old. Probably just a coincidence that Sanders is deserting ship just as the news is full of just how horrible those baby jails were -- in this administration, that's something to be proud of.

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