It's a fey and foppish week in Wonk'd with John Kerry eating organic, Pat Buchanan feeling ladylike, Dennis Kucinich running down the dream, Christopher Hitchens, uh, drinking, and wittle Kenny Mehlman walking off his lunch. All these dandies, plus a whiff of the week's biggest asshole's asshole.

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* Saw John Kerry [3/7] dining at Restaurant Nora. I Don't know who he was with, they were in a private room off to the side, but a couple of aides brought in a stack of about 30 hardcover books (looked from afar like it was his new book co-written with Teresa). He ran in and out of the room a couple of times; the last time he came back, he waited patiently while the waitstaff cleared a table in front of him. He wasn't as tall as I thought he was.

* I recently joined the University Club over on 16th and M. I didn't realize who he was at first, but Jim Nicholson, the Secretary of Veterans Affairs, is a regular at the gym. After working out, Mr. Nicholson likes to retire to the sauna where he sits up on all fours and farts extremely loudly. The man rips ass so loudly it sounded like a war zone, and he'll even make chit chat while he does it. Pat Buchanan was also spotted in the gym doing girl push ups.

* Just [3/2] saw Ken Mehlman walking away from the Palm and toward Dupont Circle. He's so tiny!

* I saw Christopher Hitchens wobbling up Connecticut Avenue Sunday afternoon (3/4), wearing a brown coat and big aviator sunglasses. He

also had a ATM slip in his hand, so he probably was going to take that cash up to Madam's Organ for some drunkeoke.

* Yesterday (3/8) I saw Dennis Kucinich running -- and I mean running -- out of Rayburn, dragging a small black suitcase and thumping it down the steps and to the taxis, about 5:30. His hair was all flopping in the wind (and here I thought he would have it all plastered down with pomade or something).