Wonk'd: The One Thing a Man Can Do When He's Suffering a Spiritual and Existential Funk

This week Chris Wallace continues the cheapness trend while buying a new suit, Tom Delay brings his evil spirits to a restaurant named for a mystical tree -- and Hugo Chavez hearts New York. It's all after the jump.

Thanks to a handful of regular tipsters for the sightings below. To the rest of you: get on the ball and send us a damn email (with "Wonk'd" or "Sighting" in the subject line) when you spot someone famous. We've seen you reading the newspaper on the Metro, we know you know what they look like.

  • Today I saw evil in the flesh - I sat 10 feet from Tom Delay at Ceiba. I am pretty sure there was something very, very shady going on between him and his companion. I kept staring at him and he kept looking at me with his coal black eyes. It was almost enough to turn me to stone.

  • Chris Wallace was at the Saks Fifth Avenue in Tyson's last week, and rather than spring for the expensive suit that he liked, he made the highly unorthodox request that the buttons from said suit be removed and sewn onto a considerably cheaper suit. He was denied.

  • I saw Hugo Chavez yesterday (9/21) in Harlem. I was dropping my clothes off at the dry cleaner at about 9:45 on Lenox Ave. and 120th, and in the next block there is a huge church. Out in front there were a ton of people and camera crews. When I passed, I asked a cop what was going on and he said the President of Venezuela was coming to speak. I was a little late for work, so I kept walking up Lenox, and wouldn't you know, as I get to the next block there is an unmarked police car, followed by three black SUVs and another police cruiser. I stopped and my man Hugo waved back before the SUVs turned onto Lenox to drop him off.

  • On Sunday evening [9/24] Dick Gephardt and his wife were waiting at the baggage carousel for their luggage to arrive. They both looked happy despite being among the teeming masses jostling for prime luggage-retrieval position.

  • Just spotted Tucker Carlson, talking on his cell phone outside the Hall of States, home of MSNBC's Washington Bureau. He was sans bow tie, and pacing back and forth while he talked. It actually didn't look that different from his attempt at the cha-cha.

  • I was in line at the Starbucks on 16th & K last winter when [famed AIDS researcher] Anthony Fauci came in. I don't know what he ordered but he sneezed near the pastry display and did not cover his face.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc