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Yes, we're bringing this feature back at the very time everyone has left town. We're drunk that way. We will, however, be accepting sightings of famous-for-D.C.-types spotted outside D.C. to compensate. To compensate for everyone being out of town, we mean. To compensate for being drunk we usually just promise we'll work out the next day.


In this issue, a not-as-exciting-as-her-humping-her-boyfriend sighting of Jenna, Kucinich, Lehrer, Cooper, Gonzales, the Donald and Kerry.

Sightings are sent in by readers. Send yours to .All after the jump.

Dear Wonkette,

 

Six of us were eating dinner at Guajillo on Wilson Blvd. in Arlington last night (7.15.05) around 8:45 p.m. when Jenna Bush and her tall, Republican-bred boyfriend, whose name escapes me [Henry Hager], walked in.  She was wearing her usual loose-fitting, semi-hippie top, and the boyfriend was wearing a radioactive-green polo shirt.  She looks thinner than she did during the campaign last year.

 

They were immediately seated at a two-person table along a wall, with Jenna's back to the door.  I called the manager over and informed him of who had just entered his restaurant.  Not because I wanted her to receive special treatment, but because I figured that the restaurant, which is owned and managed by super-nice, pleasant people, should have the option of paying special attention to a customer it may deem important.  The manager hadn't noticed her, but once he saw her, he mentioned that she's been in a few times, most recently for brunch.

 

My table was populated mostly with liberals (myself included), and everyone had to do a go-to-the-bathroom-and-check-her-out-on-the-way-back run.  One of my inebriated friends thought it might be nice to go and explain to Jenna, slowly, that he thought that she was a moron, though likely vastly more intelligent than her father.  But we convinced him that morons should be pitied, not heckled.

I don't know if his whole "who wants to date a presidential candidate" thing worked or not, but just saw Rep. Kucinich walking down Penn Ave in the Hawk and Dove area holding hands with a good looking red head about a foot taller than him, and another chick on the other side, who i'm guessing was a staffer, or maybe a fluffer, not sure.

Maybe Vegans do do it better

The Mrs. and I were enjoying our traditional Hungover Saturday lunch at Cactus Cantina when Jim Lehrer was seated a couple of tables over. He was with his wife, son and daughter-in-law (I believe) and three well-behaved grandchildren. Mr. Presidential Debate Monitor looked fit and was pleasant to his family's fajita server.

James Carville spotted 1pm [7/22] eating by himself at "A La Lucia" in Old town. He was sitting alone in a window both, wearing a tight black t-shirt and *gasp* reading the sports section. Democrats do have more fun...

Just spotted Matthew Cooper walking by the Time Inc. building by Rockefeller Center in NYC. The look was very "world weary" and "where's lunch?"

I saw Alberto Gonzales crossing the famous Congress Avenue Bridge [in Austin] last night after eating at some South Congress hip restaurant. He did not stop to watch the bats though...

the donald and melania floating through the dca us airways terminal last thursday (7/21). melania was gorgeous, the donald's hair was other-worldly.

spotted John Kerry tonight [7/19] at Galileo right around the time Bush was announcing his nominee for the Supreme Court. Kerry was in a private room in the back, at the head of a table full of wealthy-looking people.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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