You remember who Sue Gordon is? It was 805,000 Trump scandals ago, but she was supposed to become the acting director of national intelligence (DNI) after Donald Trump fired former DNI Dan Coats for refusing to bury the evidence that Russia sought to interfere in the 2020 election to help steal it for Trump. It was riiiiight before the Ukraine crimes that formed the basis for Trump's first impeachment started to come to light.

Gordon was, by law, supposed to become acting DNI because she was Coats's deputy. Trump did not want that, obviously because she was an extremely well-liked CIA official, which meant she wasn't the type of ghoulish bootlicker Trump wanted in that position. They pushed her out of the way, and she stepped aside with a chef's kiss fuck you of a resignation letter to Trump. "Mr. President – I offer this letter as an act of respect & patriotism, not preference. You should have your team. Godspeed, Sue." Whew.

(The guy who got the job, Admiral Joseph Maguire, ended up getting fired by Trump because, even though he tried to hide Trump's Ukraine crimes from Congress, his chief briefer Shelby Pierson told Congress Russia was trying to interfere in the 2020 election to help steal it for Trump. Haha, it's almost like we typed those exact words about a different person one paragraph ago because this was a pattern in the Trump presidency.)

Point is, that's who Sue Gordon is, since you forgot. And this weekend she showed up in the Washington Post with a stark warning: Don't give intel briefings to Donald Trump like some kind of common "ex-president."


He doesn't deserve them, he's just going to spend it on drugs (allegedly!) and oh yeah, there's the part about how Trump, who's been impeached twice, both times for behavior that can only be described as seditious, is leaving office disgraced and with a hell of a lot of bills coming due. You cannot trust someone like that not to sell state secrets, especially one who gets such weird boners every time he's in the same room with an anti-American tyrant. (Should we type the Russia sentence from the last two paragraphs again, or are we all on the same page with that?)

But there Wonkette goes editorializing again, we'll let Gordon speak:

[C]onvention left the premises a long time ago with President Trump, and his demonstrated approach to national security and intelligence suggest that a more purposeful decision must be made about providing intelligence to this soon-to-be former president.

My recommendation, as a 30-plus-year veteran of the intelligence community, is not to provide him any briefings after Jan. 20. With this simple act — which is solely the new president's prerogative — Joe Biden can mitigate one aspect of the potential national security risk posed by Donald Trump, private citizen.

Gordon notes that for a number of reasons, Trump is "unusually vulnerable to bad actors." He "has significant business entanglements that involve foreign entities," by which we think she's alluding to how he owes bad actors shitloads of money he probably doesn't have.

And also he is a fucking idiot, Sue Gordon says as nicely as possible:

[I]t is not clear that he understands the tradecraft to which he has been exposed, the reasons the knowledge he has acquired must be protected from disclosure, or the intentions and capabilities of adversaries and competitors who will use any means to advance their interests at the expense of ours.

Remember that time Trump barfed code-word level intel from the Israelis all over the Russians in the Oval Office the day after he fired James Comey, bragging that he could cross streams with Russia a whole lot easier now that he's dealt with that crazy guy? Trump is almost four years older, stupider and more compromised than he was that day.

Gordon emphasizes that she's not writing this because of "personal grievance," but as an "intelligence assessment" from somebody who spent 30 years in the intelligence biz. And she also notes that the good news is that President Joe Biden can just cut off the spigot. After all, the primary reason ex-presidents get access to intel briefings is so they're up to speed in case the current president needs to call them for advice.

Reached for exclusive comment on the prospect of any president needing "advice" from the Stable Genius, President Barack Obama and President-Tomorrow Joe Biden sent Wonkette this .gif, just kidding we just found it on the internet:

No intel briefings for twice-impeached shitbag loser traitor ex-presidents. And that is what Wonkette thinks about that.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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