Wonkette All About Ethics In Gaming Journalism, A Review Of Our Own Elections Of US America - The Card Game
A fireside chat with Shypixel.
Oh, hey there guys! Do you remember, waaaaaaaaaaay back when, when we had that whole kickstarter thing? And how our project was funded, and we got hard to work making you this really cool card game about US elections? And how we told you that you would be getting your own personal copy of Elections of US America - The Card Game sometime around July? No? You don't? Do you people even hear us when we talk at you? Well, anyways, after taking the slow boat from China (Yes, it was made in China, not our choice, don't mention it, Editrix is quite vexed about the whole thing), then a train to Billings, then a truck all the way across Montana, then into Idaho, and Washington, before being put on ANOTHER truck, which finally wended its way here earlier today, the games are here!
HOORAY! You can finally play Elections of US America Election - The Card Game, the game Vice called "a mouthful however many times you say it." Now you can order them, right here, now, and we will ship them to you with super-human speed, and just maybe you will get them before the actual election... So if you neglected to pre-order, maybe because you have an immature fear of the prefix "pre," you can go order them now. Right now. We'll wait right here until you get back. Go. While you are all doing that, we will check out this game, so we can tell you all about it.
Oh good, you're back! So, it turns out that Editrix has been too busy packing all these games into padded envelopes and printing shipping labels to play games right now, so we haven't had the chance to check it out. We did have the prescience to add traditional card suits and numbers to the state cards, so we were able to play a quick game of solitaire (did not win), but haven't gotten to play it correctly just yet. Will that stop us from reviewing it? Not even a little bit! Here is what we did, we had Donna Rose, the Official Wonkette Babby™, play the game, and we took lots of adorable pictures. Let's check out how to play a card game:
Step 1 - Lure A Player To The Game Box
Step 2 - Set Up Some Fisher Price Little People On The Box
Step 3 - Play With The Little People
Step 4 - Eat The Box
Step 5 - More Playing With Little People
Step 6 - Put Even More Little People On The Box
Step 7 - Eat The Box AgainHungry for FUN!
Step 8 - Inquire "Whaza!?" To Learn They Are Called "Cards"Whaza!?
Step 9 - Decide That You Like These "Cards" Things
Step 10 - Play Round One By Putting Some Cards On A Chair
Step 11 - Decide That You Won That Round, And Celebrate
Step 12 - Pick A Card From Papa, Pick Hillary Clinton, Not Ted Cruz
Step 13 - Drop The Cards On The Floor
Step 14 - Play Round Two On A Bench By The Window, Point At All The Cards
Step 15 - Decide You Have Won Round Two, Celebrate Again, Then Wander Off To Find More Little People
So there you have it, not nearly as complicated as Editrix was worrying...
No, but really guys, the game looks great, the cards, at least some of them, are funny, and we are looking forward to playing it with our son, when he gets home. In the meantime, you can watch this cool video. Please forget that Shypixel's mantra was once "Never watch the video." This video is worth watching.
So really, go buy it. We love you!