Donate

Wonkette mentioned this morning that Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Tara) has some BURNING HOT QUESTIONS for the FBI about the arrest and raid on Roger Stone. In fact, the talking points seem to have gone out for the un-American "let's protect the Kremlin's asset in the White House" crowd, and they are to be SHOCKED and APPALLED that Roger Stone was treated like a common Osama bin Black American. Roger Stone is an innocent sunflower who ain't never done no harm to nobody, he's an upstanding fine white man, and also that Nixon tattoo on his back is obviously just an unfortunate birthmark!

The Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee are also very mad right now. Look at GOP Rep. Doug Collins on Twitter, for he is sorely triggered by the fear that if it can happen to a criminal like Roger Stone, WHICH WHITE MAN CRIMINAL IS NEXT?


Click that tweet to read Collins's letter to FBI Director Christopher Wray, if you like whining. The congressman notes that Roger Stone is a VERY OLD MAN (he's 66), that Stone has bitched and moaned that his arrest was just like what happened to Osama bin Laden, minus of course the death by getting shot in the face, and Stone should know the difference, because he's been assassinated by the Deep State so many times already. (Don't worry, he's always gotten better.) Even Chris Christie, that law 'n' order guy, said this was "overkill." So what gives, Robert Mueller and Christopher Wray? Why would you treat an obviously innocent white man this way?

Lindsey Graham also wrote a big boy letter to the FBI, and he shared his questions, which are basically the same as Doug Collins's questions, on Twitter. Since we already answered some of them on Twitter, we figured we'd be service-y and help Senator Kompromat and his fellow idiots with the rest of the answers. Feel free to use them as a cheat sheet, boys!

On top of that, we'd add that part of what Stone is charged with is obstruction of justice and witness tampering, in a case involving his contacts with a man called Julian Assange, who is subject to arrest by American authorities, and who's spent lo these many years hiding out in the Ecuadorian embassy. Oh yeah, and that guy sure seems like an intelligence asset of a hostile foreign power called Russia. Can't imagine why they'd want to catch poor feeble old Roger Stone by surprise!

The next questions don't deserve long responses, so we'll take them together:

No, Lindsey, they just made it up on the fucking fly and announced it to the press, in order that they might WITCH HUNT Roger Stone as hard as they possibly can. That's totally how the FBI does stuff. Does Graham expect people to treat him like a legitimate chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, if he's going to repeatedly own-goal himself like this?

One last question from Graham, who is acting so ridiculous that we're almost 100 percent convinced he's compromised by Trump/Russia in some way, no that's not a gay sex joke, because Jesus Christ, he cannot possibly be this stupid. But for some reason, he's willing to pretend to be this stupid, because he is the new Devin Nunes.

Well, that was a fun exercise! Listen, elected Republicans, any time you have hard questions about anything, you are welcome to submit them to Wonkette, and we will try to answer them ASAP. Remember: There are no stupid questions, just kidding, all your questions are stupid questions.

As a sidenote, we should note that now that the Democrats have the gavel again, they are really getting their legs with this whole social media thing, taking every opportunity they're handed on a silver platter to just dunk on the GOP idiots they're forced to share breathing space with. It's not just AOC, y'all.

Here's Eric Swalwell and Ted Lieu having too much fun with the paste-eating dumbfuck letter sent by their Judiciary colleague Doug Collins:

They are so much better at this than Donald Trump and the paint-huffing GOP members of Congress.

Follow every Democratic member of the 116th Congress on Twitter immediately. GO. DO IT NOW.

Also Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is ad-free and funded ONLY by YOU, our dear readers. Click below to give us ALL YOUR MONEY, or at least what you can afford!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC
Alex Díaz de la Portilla on Facebook

Alex Díaz de la Portilla, former Florida Republican state senator, is in hot water over a leaked WhatsApp chat log that appears to show campaign workers chatting about destroying or disappearing absentee ballots filled out for the candidate's opponent in the nonpartisan county election, according to the Miami New Times. Díaz de la Portilla ultimately came in third in the May 2018 special election for a seat on the Miami-Dade County Commission, so even if some of his people did deep-six some ballots, it didn't apparently help him. Clearly, these pikers could have learned a lot from the experts in North Carolina about electoral fuckery.

Still, you have to appreciate just how brilliantly Díaz de la Portilla plays the role of a local pol accused of just a teensy bit of ratfucking.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Photo: Tony Webster, Creative Commons license 2.0

Under the Trump administration, the Environmental "Protection" Agency has adopted the vital mission of doing everything it can to prop up the dying coal industry, largely because 1) Coal CEO Robert Murray is among Donald Trump's best billionaire buds and 2) every last trace of Barack Obama's presidency must be eradicated. To that end, the New York Times reports the EPA is now planning to "change how it calculates the health risks of air pollution," to make it easier to reverse Obama's "Clean Power Plan" regulations and replace them with far dirtier air, for coal company fun and profit. It's remarkably similar to another bit of EPA fuckery from December, when the agency decided it was no longer "appropriate and necessary" to regulate mercury emissions from coal-fired power plants, claiming that the costs of regulating the neurotoxin was very very burdensome and wouldn't provide any real savings by comparison. In both cases, fucking around with the math and redefining pollutants as No Big Deal are at the heart of the agency's claims that coal plants can spew more pollution without doing any harm.

Now, before you freak out, we will not be making you do math. Stop whining, you. Rather, we just want to highlight once again how Team Trump changes the definitions of things to give a great big benefit to dirty energy while insisting that it's "protecting" the environment.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc