Wonkette Appoints Angry Commenter General in Paultard War

this is not nick farr. actually, we don't know.Those of you who have been following the War on Paultards in the comments have probably seen an... anomaly... crowding the pack. It's an angry guy who types in bold and caps, curses vehemently and throws numbers around freely while chewing away at his naysayers -- but argues against the Paultards! This sort of brilliance doesn't go unnoticed by Wonkette. We would like to appoint commenter Nick Farr (his name is also probably "Nick Farr") the official Wonkette Commenter General in the War on Paultards. He replaces the interim de facto Wonkette Commenter General, who was also Nick Farr.

To welcome Nick Farr we've asked him to write a ceaselessly long, unedited and vicious rant against the Paultards. After the jump, Commenter General Nick Farr's ceaselessly long, unedited and vicious rant against the Paultards.

An Open Letter to Paultards: Check Your Motherfucking "Facts" or Shut the Fuck Up.

by NICK FARR, Wonkette Commenter General, Anti-Paultard Alliance (an unpaid position... in case that wasn't clear, Nick! - Ed.)

There are three things that supporters of Ron Paul seem to have in common:

1) Fundamental mistrust of the government and peripheral institutions.

2) Lack of willingness to understand history, basic economics, government finance, accounting and monetary policy.

3) A pathological belief that Ron Paul will fix everything if/when he is elected President.

What do these three things add up to? An absolute fucking inability to engage with reality.

To some degree, every politician claims they'll change things. They'll overlook some inconvenient facts while promising supporters how fucking great it'll be when they're elected. They don't just make shit up, pander to conspiracy theorists and somehow pull a few million dollars out of stoner zombies and gun-nut paranoids on a goddamned pseudo-holiday from another fucking country.

Paultards are really good at making shit up, arranging money bombs, printing horrible ads, shooting videos that make YouTube kids come off like Coppola, etc. They're really not good at coming up with even mildly substantive, reality-based arguments in support of their Paultard beliefs. I hoped the spambot Paultard community was embellishing things a little. Nope. The Paultardation extends all the way to the fucking top:

"NAFTA's superhighway is just one part of a plan to erase the borders between the U.S. and Mexico, called the North American Union. This spawn of powerful special interests, would create a single nation out of Canada, the U.S. and Mexico, with a new unelected bureaucracy and money system. Forget about controlling immigration under this scheme."

What. The. Mother. Fuck. This reads like some world-government rehashed bullshit straight the fuck out of "Protocols of the Elders of Zion." Whether or not NAFTA is good or bad, whether or not a common currency in North America is good or bad--nobody has even come close to planning or proposing such a thing. It's some bullshit paranoia pulled straight the fuck out of the worst of the internet and thrown in your excuse for a fucking policy statement. Somehow, those at Paultard corporate have extended an interstate improvement project into a continental government. Where is this plan to erase our borders, Ron Paul? WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? DOES YOUR PAULTARD ARMY CONTROL YOU?

Moving down the Paultard "Issue List" from "American Independence" to "Border Security & Immigration", we get more of the rehashed NAFTA bullshit followed up by some more paranoid race-biting, bullshit:

"End birthright citizenship. As long as illegal immigrants know their children born here will be citizens, the incentive to enter the U.S. illegally will remain strong."

For all their talk about returning our nation to its "Constitutional Roots" Paultards are very good at ignoring little parts of the Constitution like the fucking Fourteenth Amendment:

"...All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside..."

How the fuck can you claim to return us back to the Constitution when you're going to overturn something guaranteed in it, Ron Paul? Huh? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT? CAN WE GET THE CURE FOR AIDS AND CANCER and OSAMA TOO?

Of course, you Paultards probably have a bigger hard-on for stopping the IRS than shit like AIDS and Cancer--both big conspiracies put on by the Federal Reserve, right?

"I have long been an advocate of ending the income tax and eliminating the IRS."

So much so that it's no longer a main point on your issues page. Are we selling out so soon, Ron?

"Between 1787 and 1913, we had no permanent income tax system, and America prospered!"

And during that period, most revenue was derived primarily from slavery (through the taxation of owners of large estates) and land sales. I'm not even going to bother sourcing this one. I need to survive to Thanksgiving. (Plus, I gotta give you Paultards something to snap back at me with.)

"The income tax isn't necessary to pay for government services. Few people know that every penny of the income tax is used to service federal debt, a large percentage of which is held by foreign investors and governments."

BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. This is sort of like saying that all your money goes to service your credit card payments if you happen to pay for all of your expenses on a credit card.

2003 Income Tax Receipts: 793.7 B

2003 Net Interest on Federal Debt Payments: 153.1 B

2004 Income Tax Receipts: 809.0 B

2004 Net Interest on Federal Debt Payments: 160.2 B

2005 Income Tax Receipts: 927.2 B

2005 Net Interest on Federal Debt Payments: 184.0 B

2006 Income Tax Receipts: 1,043.9 B

2006 Net Interest on Federal Debt Payments: 226.6 B

(Source, Office of Management and Budget, "Budget of the United States Government" Historical Tables 2.2, 3.1 )


More later, you fucking Paultards. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.



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