Wonkette Party Crash: CNN's War on Christmas

CNN's Holiday Party was one of the better ones we've been to, mostly because they kept the bar open the latest. It was last Tuesday at Teatro Goldoni, and our full report -- featuring Wolf Blitzer, James Carville, and a CNN Senior Correspondent coming this close to pulling a Kenny Rogers -- is after the jump.


A gallery of lovely Liz Gorman pictures is also available right here.

Look, we're gonna keep this one kinda short. Because, no, we didn't talk to Wolf Blitzer, we got our customary weird grunt from James Carville, we didn't even notice Bill Press and no one got a good picture of John Roberts.

We showed up late, which is a good way to show up to these things -- everyone's already tipsy. They were actually pretty serious about the list, so thanks to the lovely Mara Gassmann for inviting us after we more or less extorted her the night before the party. Outside the restaurant was a crowd of RNC dudes who'd just left their party and were denied entrance to CNN. They went to Charlie Palmer's.

Food: Fucking fantastic. CNN takes this over the Chamber of Commerce party because of their revolutionary "sit down at a table and a waiter will serve you and refill your drinks" gambit. It paid off! For those who noticed when they opened up the back and started serving, anyway.

Drink: Champagne, and lots of it. And, as we said, they kept serving until well after the official party end time.

Star Power: Decent, if you're into people who are on CNN. Also, your typical crowd of Hill, National Journal, Post and other assorted sundry "print" "journalists." Notable for their absence: Our beloved Blog Reporters.

Future first daughter of the United States Jackie Kucinich announced that, in preparation for her eventual position, she was going to start drinking like a Bush twin. Or maybe it was "continue," we can't remember. She did not disappoint.

It was decided also that Garrett Graff's legendary brunches are kinda lame because not enough people get wasted at them. Or even show up with debilitating hangovers.

At some point, we switched nametags with Examiner gossip Patrick Gavin and continued our aggressive mingling campaign. Eventually, from across the room, we saw him cornered by an unhappy-looking CNN on-air reporter. Gavin points to us, and the reporter heads over, with that "bone-to-pick" look in his eyes.

"You coulda gotten me into a lotta trouble, buddy" are words've heard before, but they're way funnier coming from someone who's on tv. Long story short: some Wonk'd sighting a while back made some factually true-but-hilariously-spun comments about a night out the guy had with some ladies who weren't his wife. Sorry dude! At least we didn't get you convicted of assault!

Then we all took a limo to Cafe Japone. It was a truly magical CNN Christmas.

CNN Party Gallery

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