Wonkette Party Crash: Michael Musto's Book Party

Events like last night's pretend book thing for Michael Musto's La Dolce Musto are exactly the reason we keep party-boy Intern Nick on retainer. Because sometimes, some parties demand Wonkette treatment, but your editor doesn't actually want to hang out with Jeff Gannon, Karen Feld, and Some Creepy Blogger.


He didn't go alone, of course -- Liz Gorman, Girl Reporter tagged along for the ride and vowed never to forgive us for skipping it. Her gallery of pictures is available right here, and Nick's party report, with lengthy addendum, is after the jump.

"La Dolce Musto" Party Gallery

The following is Intern Nick's initial party crash report.

Michael Musto should call his next book How to Have a Sweet Ass Party in Two Easy Steps. Step one is get a bunch of people with impeccable grooming habits to show up at a "casual" and "energetic" spot like Nage. Then ply them with booze that has the all the good parts of Red Bull built into it but none of the pixy stix aftertaste -- two empty glasses later and no one even cares that it's not actually pink.

Since this "book party" featured none of the actual books in question, and we couldn't find anyone that even planned to get one, it made perfect sense that instead of reading from his own work, Michael read a selection from a well worn copy of Touch Me: The Poems of Suzanne Somers. Really tied the party together.

Other things that floated our boat: very few shits were given about politics, no less than three professional photographers for forty-some party goers, meat-on-stick that gets brought to you even if you stand in different places, and, oh yea, the complete fucking absurdity of having way-too-fat-to-get-paid-to-do-it Jeff Gannon "hosting" the party while chatting amicably with way-too-crazy-to-be-around-alcohol Karen Feld, and her little dog too.

We felt there certain important details lacking from Nick's report, so we hassled him on GChat.

Alex: you didn't chat with jeff gannon?

Nick: eww

yuck

Alex: ha

Nick: if it wasn't for the hot booze

and mad honies

i'dve ghosted that spot by 7:15

Alex: mad honies? i missed the only party crash in wonkette history with mad honies?

Nick: have you got the pics yet?

off the charts bro

Alex: yeah i'm lookin at 'em now

Nick: not my usual type, you're neither i'm guessing

but really world class

Alex: get any digits

Nick: joel is a cockblocker

Alex: haaa

i have a huge picture of you drinking the girliest-looking bullshit ever, make it yr new myspace pic

Nick: A) i don't have a myspace

B) the fucking vodka is like sparks

its like distilled pototo sparks

Alex: INTERN NICK TOO COOL FOR MYSPACE

Nick: bro i'm already on virb*

creepy.jpg

Alex: "that fucker rob is mad creepy" -- elaborate

Nick: holy shit alex

first of all

he said weirdy shit to liz

but i figgered he didn't know me

Alex: no doubt

Nick: so i was safe

not at all

while i have no confirmation

i had a really strange encounter

with a random dude there

who came up to me

and was like "do you know rob?"

and so i played it kewl

and said "no, i thought this party was for michael"

and the dude was like "okay, just wanted tosee"

that fucker spied me out

Alex: ha

Nick: AND SENT A HENCHMAN TO INTERROGATE ME

thats creepy

then at the end

he was like "are you intern nick" etc

i didn't want a part of it

Alex: shoulda told him you were lauren

Nick: but i did want to tell him "crazy lies"

yea

Alex: shoulda told him you were garrett graff

wait did you tell him crazy lies? that was actually my only direction to you

Nick: no i just got all vague

like "my name is nick, but i don't know shit about any interns"

Alex: HA

Alex: I'M NOT AN INTERN, I'M A MOGUL

Nick: obv

there was also a weird bit

where him and feld were whispering and looking at me

which sounds so paranoid

but with the players invovlved

is totally feasable

Alex: i'm imagining gloria swanson and erich von stroheim right now

you realize i'm using all of this in the post btw

Nick: oh

Alex: best party crash ever, i just sat at home and drink some mexican beers

Nick: yea it was like there were 2 parties

the one with musto and the hot chicks

and the weirdy creepy dc blogger one

Alex: john edwards was right

Nick: but trust me on the energy vodka

More coverage: Brightest Young Things' report

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