Wonkette Party Crash: Michael Musto's Book Party
Events like last night's pretend book thing for Michael Musto's La Dolce Musto are exactly the reason we keep party-boy Intern Nick on retainer. Because sometimes, some parties demand Wonkette treatment, but your editor doesn't actually want to hang out with Jeff Gannon, Karen Feld, and Some Creepy Blogger.
He didn't go alone, of course -- Liz Gorman, Girl Reporter tagged along for the ride and vowed never to forgive us for skipping it. Her gallery of pictures is available right here, and Nick's party report, with lengthy addendum, is after the jump.
The following is Intern Nick's initial party crash report.
Michael Musto should call his next book How to Have a Sweet Ass Party in Two Easy Steps. Step one is get a bunch of people with impeccable grooming habits to show up at a "casual" and "energetic" spot like Nage. Then ply them with booze that has the all the good parts of Red Bull built into it but none of the pixy stix aftertaste -- two empty glasses later and no one even cares that it's not actually pink.
Since this "book party" featured none of the actual books in question, and we couldn't find anyone that even planned to get one, it made perfect sense that instead of reading from his own work, Michael read a selection from a well worn copy of Touch Me: The Poems of Suzanne Somers. Really tied the party together.
Other things that floated our boat: very few shits were given about politics, no less than three professional photographers for forty-some party goers, meat-on-stick that gets brought to you even if you stand in different places, and, oh yea, the complete fucking absurdity of having way-too-fat-to-get-paid-to-do-it Jeff Gannon "hosting" the party while chatting amicably with way-too-crazy-to-be-around-alcohol Karen Feld, and her little dog too.
We felt there certain important details lacking from Nick's report, so we hassled him on GChat.
Alex: you didn't chat with jeff gannon?
Nick: if it wasn't for the hot booze
and mad honies
i'dve ghosted that spot by 7:15
Alex: mad honies? i missed the only party crash in wonkette history with mad honies?
Nick: have you got the pics yet?
off the charts bro
Alex: yeah i'm lookin at 'em now
Nick: not my usual type, you're neither i'm guessing
but really world class
Alex: get any digits
Nick: joel is a cockblocker
i have a huge picture of you drinking the girliest-looking bullshit ever, make it yr new myspace pic
Nick: A) i don't have a myspace
B) the fucking vodka is like sparks
its like distilled pototo sparks
Alex: INTERN NICK TOO COOL FOR MYSPACE
Nick: bro i'm already on virb*
Alex: "that fucker rob is mad creepy" -- elaborate
Nick: holy shit alex
first of all
he said weirdy shit to liz
but i figgered he didn't know me
Alex: no doubt
Nick: so i was safe
not at all
while i have no confirmation
i had a really strange encounter
with a random dude there
who came up to me
and was like "do you know rob?"
and so i played it kewl
and said "no, i thought this party was for michael"
and the dude was like "okay, just wanted tosee"
that fucker spied me out
Nick: AND SENT A HENCHMAN TO INTERROGATE ME
then at the end
he was like "are you intern nick" etc
i didn't want a part of it
Alex: shoulda told him you were lauren
Nick: but i did want to tell him "crazy lies"
Alex: shoulda told him you were garrett graff
wait did you tell him crazy lies? that was actually my only direction to you
Nick: no i just got all vague
like "my name is nick, but i don't know shit about any interns"
Alex: I'M NOT AN INTERN, I'M A MOGUL
there was also a weird bit
where him and feld were whispering and looking at me
which sounds so paranoid
but with the players invovlved
is totally feasable
Alex: i'm imagining gloria swanson and erich von stroheim right now
you realize i'm using all of this in the post btw
Alex: best party crash ever, i just sat at home and drink some mexican beers
Nick: yea it was like there were 2 parties
the one with musto and the hot chicks
and the weirdy creepy dc blogger one
Alex: john edwards was right
Nick: but trust me on the energy vodka
More coverage: Brightest Young Things' report