You Don't Need The Mark Of The Beast To Read Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week

popular
You Don't Need The Mark Of The Beast To Read Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week

The lovely Nina, courtesy of Wonkette operative Erin

Happy weekend!

It's been a very long week. Too long, even. So I got you an extra special present this week, which I (again) found on the r/obscuremedia subreddit. It is a song, performed by a band called Heavenly Magic, which was associated with The Family International/Children of God cult, imploring a young woman not to go to the supermarket and buy food with the Mark of the Beast.

Rudely, it's kind of a bop. Though the choreography could use some work.

¡ Cathy Don t Go ! "666"www.youtube.com



Choice lyrics:

I know there's a sale and a special on rice
And you can buy beans at a giveaway price
But that's just their way to get you down there
What you don't know is that they're everywhere

Also:

This isn't just a new craze
They want to make us their slaves

Truly, it's a work of art.

And here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. Forgetful Capitol Rioters Called Pelosi's Office Looking For The 'Lost And Found'

9. OAN Gets Cancel Cultured. Dang.

8. Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Northumbria Toddy!

7. Let's See What President Biden Has To Say For Himself!

6. Remembering The Dr. King Conservatives Find So Damn Inconvenient

5. Mark Kelly Supports Filibuster Reform, So Don't Blame 'Arizona,' OK, KYRSTEN SINEMA?

4. Justice Gorsuch Even More Of A Dick Than You Thought

3. UPDATE: Justice Gorsuch Still Maskless, Still A Dick

2. Fox News All Het Up About Satan Again

1. They Tried To Kill Us, We Survived, Let's Vote

Did reading these stories give you a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, you can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link, or even send a check in the mail to

Wonkette

PO Box 361

Polson MT 59860

or use this handy widget below! Just click the amount you want to donate, click one-time or monthly, and then be sure to click "Paypal" if you are Paypal or "Stripe" if you are not Paypal, or your money will not go through!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc