Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Out Of This World

Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Out Of This World

The charming Tommy, courtesy of Wonkette Operative Dawn Serenade.

Happy Weekend!

Way back when I was a kid, there was a show called "Out of this World," in which that one lady from Saturday Night Fever had a half-alien daughter named Evie who talked to her dad through a jewelry box. She could also stop time by putting her fingers together. I swear this was real and I did not dream it, although I did once have a dream that I could stop time like Evie and when I woke up I thought it was true but that was only because I was in my bedroom by myself so obviously nothing was moving.

But I digress! Every once in a while I become nominally obsessed with people who think they are part alien ("starseeds") or those who believe they have given birth to dozens of alien babies (who are of course off floating in space somewhere) and spend like an entire evening watching videos of them talking about this. I was on that shit recently, so your present this week is that I am going to share some with you. You are welcome.

Here is Demi Lovato and fam having a super normal discussion with a lady about her hybrid alien babies that she gave birth to, for real, in space, during her alien abduction.

Demi Meets with Alien Abductee to Discuss Her Hybrid Children | Unidentified with Demi Lovatowww.youtube.com

And here is a guy who says he fathered 100 alien babies! In space!

Man Believes He's The Father Of 100 Hybrid Babies After Alien Sex | World's Strangest UFO Storieswww.youtube.com

To be honest, I was actually watching videos of people on Tiktok who say they've given birth to alien babies or are starseeds themselves, but I feel weird about blasting them on here for some reason. But you do need to know that there is a lady out there doing interviews with her young daughter about how she (the daughter) is a "Blue Avian" alien who goes to another planet every night to do surgery and also another lady who claims that the Arcturian Council told her that people who are afraid of the ocean used to live on Atlantis.

Anyway! Here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Sazerac!

9. Wonkette Weekend Chat: We Have To Talk About Tyre Nichols

8. Trump Says Windmills Destroying Airplanes Now, So That's A Real Bummer

7. Wonkette Movie Night: Bringing Up Baby

6. It's Such A Perfect Day (For You To Start Supporting Your Beloved Wonkette!)

5. Dear Shitferbrains: As Any Fool Knows, College Is Not For Encouraging Freethinking

4. Arizona State Senator Named WADSACK Will Ban All The Drag Queens, That's Right, WADSACK

3. Demons Serenaded Me With Rihanna Jams During Brief Trip To Hell, Pastor Claims

2. Time To Refresh Yourself On Trump, Stormy Daniels And The Case Of The Porn Peener Payoffs!

1. Marjorie Taylor Greene On Congressional Committees Is Real And It Is Amaaaaaaazing

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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