Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Would Like To Kiss You But We Just Washed Our Hair
Happy weekend, friends!
How's tricks? You having a nice weekend so far? Brunching? Seen the new Ted Lasso yet? You ready to read our top ten? Good, cause I'm keeping it short and sweet today.
Here we go!
10. GOP, Fox News Idiots Perhaps Not Yet Fully Committed To COVID Vaccine Sparkle Motion — Surely they'll get it together next week, except probably not. From Evan!
9. Iowa Defunded Planned Parenthood And Guess What They Got More Of? — If you guessed abortions ... you are correct. From me!
8. Bitcoin Dipsh*t Will Make Phoning Great Again With Buggy Chinese Handset — Do you love America enough to get this terrible FREEDOM PHONE that will actually probably spy on you more than your regular one? Hope not! From Liz
7. Marjorie Taylor Greene And Matt Gaetz Can't Take Themselves Anywhere — You know, honestly, it's a jazzy headline for sure and I am proud of it, but I do not think this was my best work, largely because I have a hard time getting too het up about this kind of shit and I think that usually comes across. Apparently the people disagreed!
6. Some Trumpers Going To Emergency, Some Trumpers Going To Jail — They are a diverse group. From Liz!
5. In Which Liz Cheney Takes A Righteous Dump On Fellow Republican Kevin McCarthy — Rebecca wrote a thing about Liz Cheney doing a non-characteristically non-shitty thing! Nice!
4. Trump Waddles In From Golf Course To Tell Reporters Who He Hates Today. Surprise! It Is Everyone. — Who would have guessed? From Liz
3. Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Special, The Cosmopolitan! — How very "Sex and The City" of us, and also of Wonkette's resident mixologist Matthew Hooper! Please do not ask me further questions about "Sex and The City" because that's really the main thing I know about it.
2. Right Wing Coffee Companies Scramble To Win The Hearts And Cups Of America's Worst People — That's me again
1. Evangelical Pastor: Either Gay People Exist Or Evolution Happened. Can't Have Both! — Also me! Has anyone else noticed that the right has started getting their creationism on again?
Ooh! And tonight, those of you in Portland have a very exciting meet-up with Rebecca, Shy, the Babbies AND Stephen, because he's actually located there. Fun! I am jealous!
Saturday, July 24, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.: We'll be meeting at Peninsula Park for a family friendly afternoon in the park. We have picnic tables and restrooms. This is a potluck and BYOB (beer & wine only, please) event. For those that can't make it in person, we'll have a live WonkZoom running for drop ins. Free commemorative sportsball cap! This is going to be major epic.
I've got another photo collage of Bear for you guys, and then I'm out to go find other stuff to write about. Also good times!
This is Bear, as a kitten he was rescued from the street on a cold wet October night. A stranger found him and handed him over to my roommate because he had nowhere to keep him. She then gave him to me. He had been stuck to a glue trap(used for rats) and his tail was stuck to his leg. Half his whiskers had been cut off but he was so happy to be inside. Making biscuits in the air as we ready him for a bath. As he grew into a beautiful long haired Siberian he loved for me to carry him like a baby.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse