Wonkette Seeks to Make Out With Every Member of Miami Sound Machine This Weekend
So remember how we said we were NEVER THROWING ANOTHER PARTY AGAIN, EVER, and in fact did you notice that we still have not put up our pictures from our Norman, Dallas, and Austin Wonk Your Face Off Drinky Things and Orgies? They were 17 years ago now, and we are still tired.
WELL NOW WE ARE GOING TO MIAMI, SUCKERS. We are leaving today. We will be there till Sunday. And tomorrow, Thursday, July 11, we will be buying you scorpions -- for lovers only -- at the South Beach Tiki Bar (in the back of "Cheeseburger Baby," 1505 Washington Ave.) starting at 6 p.m. We haven't actually told them we are coming this time. We are just going to show up.
Be there or go fuck yourself.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.