Wonkette Top Ten Is Drunk and Demon-Possessed
Guess what? I am not actually here today, because Rebecca decided I am taking the day off. In fact I have the whole weekend off. So while it looks like I'm here because of this top ten thing, I am actually either at barre class or finishing up an afghan (or like, doing something way cooler and more impressive than either of those things). Ah, the magic of the internet.
Here is your top ten for the week!
10. Biden DOJ Sees Georgia Suppressing Black Voters, Brings Receipts In This Lawsuit Right Here — Georgia really, really wants to prevent Black people from voting, and the Biden GOP really, really is not going to let them do that. Just how they plan to do that, helpfully explained by Jamie!
9. Australian Christian School Kids Get Super Creepy Romantic Advice — Ugh, this was super creepy, I remember because I wrote it.
8. Nice Time! More Biden Judges! — Let Jamie tell you all about the great new Biden judges!
7. Nikki Haley Smears Dems Like Common Trump, Will Still Lose SC GOP Primary To Some Marjorie Taylor Greene — Stephen knows what's up — the only people who think Nikki Haley is any kind of force in the GOP are Democratic-leaning pundits who for some reason think Republicans are into voting for people who can pretend to be sane.
6. Kevin McCarthy Tells Cop Injured In Jan. 6 Riot He Can Only Condemn Republican Lies In Secret — From me. That same cop later told everyone what a wonderful time he had chatting with Ilhan Omar, whom he described as "incredibly genuine."
5. Christian Preacher Very Concerned About Demon-Possessed Joe Biden And His Sex-Trafficking Tunnels — It would be very reasonable to be concerned about those things, actually, had he not just made them up. From me.
4. Programming Notes: Comments Moderation News (And No, You're Not In Trouble, Really!) — Dok with the comment moderation updates.
3. Trump Family Tried To Lure Him Out Of White House With Promise Of ... Parler Account, LOL — Liz tells us all the fun story of how Trump tried lure him out of the White House by negotiating a 40 percent stake in Parler, so he could theoretically get paid for tweeting (Parling?) but then decided against because they wouldn't agree to ban anyone who spoke ill of him. Sad face.
2. Ooh, A Fancy Tropical Umbrella Drink! Try This Blue Aloha! — Another delicious drink recipe from Matthew Hooper! I thought I was going to be able to make this one, being that I have blue curaçao, but there is not actually any blue curaçao in it, and I don't have any of the other ingredients other than pineapple juice and simple syrup. Someday, though!
1. Bad News For People Who Like To Use Socialism As A Scare Word — Unfortunately, of course, the kind of people who like to use socialism as a scare word will still use it as one, and people who don't pay attention to these kinds of polls will go "Oh wow, you're so right. We better not try and improve upon anything, lest people say we love Fidel Castro!" And that one was from me as well.
Sit tight, we'll have some more #content coming up for you soon! In the meantime, read these hits and enjoy this lovely composite picture of our friend Pete's cats! Hooray for cats and also art!
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse