THANK YOU, Wonkette friends and operatives, for your kind support of the WonketteMart T-Shirt Emporium. Not only did you sexy peoples buy out ourentirefirst run of Wonkette shirts, but you've nearly run off with the last of our second run. Honestly, if we didn't have to edit and write and manage this daily political absurdity, we would probably be very happy making a new batch of T-shirts and coffee mugs or whatever, a few times a year, and spending the rest of our hours in leisure and meditation and a scholarly haze of Pinot Noir.
But, well, anyway. We have a Wonkette.com to run, and our WonketteMart experiment has beeneducational, but it also takes way too much time and we don't know how to use spreadsheets and it is TERRIFYING trying to do state sales tax and inventory and all this stuff, so we are going back to what we know how do, barely: Type things for you, on the Internet, in America.
ALL THIS IS TO SAY: Got about 60 shirts left, and when they are gone we can shut the doors. We are SLASHING the price on this last batch to the bare minimum that will cover PayPal fees and our Fulfillment Center in Austin and the "Yahoo Merchant" fees we still can't comprehend. $5.93each, in limited sizes and limited designs. If you want one, this is your Last Chance. Store closes when February ends ... and the remaining inventory will be worn by Wonkette writers when they sleep on grates in DC. [ WonketteMart ]
When your laying in your own excrement in your old age, surrounded by people who only speak Spanish, and waiting for a gift of food from charity (the government having long dissolved into a collection of warring states providing only their own border security) <b>you&#039;ll wish you had bought these shirts so you could sell them on the Palin Network and buy enough Depends to last you your final days on this miserable globe.</b>