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FOREEEEEEVER'S GONNA START TONIGHT!


Surely you did not think we were joshing you earlier when we threatened to take the rest of the day off so we can go to eclipse parties at libraries or state parks or ... OK, at least one of us will probably go to a bar (WITH A NICE PATIO!). You're old enough to be in the comments section at Wonkette without our constant supervision, after all, so if you're around, you have three jobs, and they are the easiest.

JOB NUMBER ONE: Watch Bonnie Tyler singing "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" on a cruise ship, ON TODAY, WHICH IS ECLIPSE DAY.

JOB NUMBER TWO: Do not watch Trump's dumb Afghanistan announcement tonight. We certainly aren't, and if he has decided to give Betsy DeVos's little brother, that skeevy Blackwater fucker Erik Prince, the keys to the whole war, we're sure we'll hear about it tomorrow. Seriously, do not watch that shit. You have better things to do, like literally anything else. Today, the news is about the eclipse, and Trump does not get to interfere with that. Of course, if huge news breaks about the Russia investigation, we'll probably pop back in.

JOB NUMBER THREE, as if we needed to tell you brilliant humans, is DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE SUN when your town is visited by the Sexxxy Eclipse. Don't do it!

All right, those are your tasks. Complete them with a positive attitude, and also have an OPEN THREAD. Oh and if "outside" isn't available to you (or the proper glasses) here is NASA's livestream:

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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NYT video screenshot

The New York Times this weekend brought us a case study of how Donald Trump's family separation policy tore apart just one family last year, although this particular example is notable because it involves the youngest child known -- so far -- to have been taken from his parents at the US-Mexico border. Little Constantin Mutu was just four months old when he was taken from his father, Vasile, a Romanian seeking asylum in the USA, having believed all that outdated crap about the Statue of Liberty being the "Mother of Exiles." What a sap! We're not letting those tempest-tossed takers push US around any more!

Constantin was taken from his dad in February of 2018, a good two months before the Trump administration officially announced the family separation policy -- but which we now know had been operating covertly since the summer of 2017 before it was expanded last year. Vasile and Florentina Mutu, members of the Roma ethnic minority, came to the US seeking asylum after Florentina found out that when she'd had a C-section while giving birth to Constantin, the doctors had also sterilized her without her knowing it. She said she was handed papers while she was foggy from the pain of labor, and had no idea what she was signing, and reporter Caitlin Dickerson notes "human rights groups have documented the practice of forced sterilizations" of Roma elsewhere in Europe.

And the Mutus had heard all sorts of wonderful things about America, too. They made a living by leaving their village and begging or doing short-term labor around Europe, then going home, where life was less expensive, but some people from their village had reputedly gone to the US and become rich, although maybe those stories were exaggerated. Still,

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