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Good morning! Say hi to your cat for us and congratulate you both for making through a little bit of a depressing suck of a hellweek! We hope it makes you feel better to welcome you to Wonkette's weekly top 10 as chosen by a crew fluffle trouble pride of pirate bunny troll lions!


10. Virginia Cops Not Even Sure Black Army Lives Matter. "There was a mass shooting every day this week. And there was a police shooting of an unarmed person every day this week," I told my son, Lula's dad, Jimmy, after he got home from work at the Safeway last night and was running around with the girls in the yard, because that is what came up in conversation. "You see that Army lieutenant they pepper sprayed in his car?" he asked me. Sure did, son. Sure did.

9. OK, But What About All The Times The Filibuster HELPED Pass Civil Rights? (Spoiler: There Were None). They really really got nothing, but that's never stopped them before.

8. No, $12k Is Not Enough To Make Me Move Back to West Virginia. But has Jamie considered a Tuscan villa?

7. Anthony Fauci, Maxine Waters, Entire World Agree: Time For Jim Jordan To STFU. "Amen," said the world. "Shut the fuck up."

6. Oh No, Nancy Reagan Will Absolutely Not Be Getting An 'AIDS Activist' Edit. Nope no nein nyet.

5. Ammon Bundy Gets Big Dumb Self Arrested Twice In Two Hours, No Kink-Shaming. The only response possible is this fucking guy.

4. Raise Your Hand If You Want To Go To A Party With Matt Gaetz. A Supposedly Fun Thing I Will Never Do Again. Just kidding, can you imagine.

3. Senate Republicans Present Participation Trophy To President Needy McLoserpants. Wank wank wank motion.

2. Arkansas House Passes Bills To Let Teachers Teach Creationism, Bully Trans Students. Yeah, they weren't the only ones.

1. Suck It, COVID: Suicides Actually Decreased In 2020. See what I mean? Your good news for the week is about suicide.

And there you have your Wonkette weekly top 10 as chosen by a crew fluffle trouble pride of pirate bunny troll lions! Now after you hit up the Wonkette Bazaar

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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