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Portrait of the Artist I mean Peppa Pig

Good morning, sunshines! Did you wake up dead today? We are zombie twins! What a year we had this week, eh what? Okay, that's enough. I gave Evan the top 10 off, because of how I am the nicest, so here's your fucking stories.

10 WTF With Impeachment This Week And Like Such As? Let Us 'Splain You Easy! This one was about impeachment, and WTF with it.

9 What's White House Press Sec Stephanie Grisham Lying About Today? Hic!

8 Fox Viewers Confused, Panicked As Fox Briefly Does Yovanovitch Hearing 'News'. Don't remember.

7 Nate Silver Unclear As To Why Democrats Are Acting Like Their Ideas Are Good Or Something. This was a good one by Robyn!

6 Man Deballed By Nancy Pelosi Very Sad He Now Got No Balls. This was a good one by I think Jamie? Yes, Jamie!

5 Not All Witnesses Are Heroes. (Afternoon Impeachment Day Three Liveblog!) This is the one about the witness who is not a hero.

4 Let's Watch Republicans Sh*t On A Guy With A Purple Heart! (Impeachment Liveblog, Day Three!) Quick, someone give him a Purple Heart band-aid.

3 Masha, Masha, Masha! Yovanovitch, That Is. (Impeachment Liveblog, Day Two!) This one is about Masha Masha Masha, Yovanovitch.

2 Fiona Hill 'Bout To F*ck Devin Nunes UP. Impeachment Liveblog, Day Five! AND SHE DID.

1 THE GORDON PROBLEM. Impeachment Liveblog, Day Four! LOL GORDOOOONNNNN!

and a bonus mention to me at number 12 with WHO IS READY FOR A DEMOCRATIC DEBATE IT IS ALLLL OF USSSSS! because if I had to liveblog hours 13-15 of Wednesday, you have to read it.

My mom said it was HILARIOUS. There you go, those are very good stories, even mine.

Remember, Wonkette is SOLELY FUNDED by YOU. A whole bunch more of you kicked in this month after I cried and wept and tore my hair and Jewish mamaed you, so thank you! Now the other 98.5 percent of you, I'm STILL WAITING! Let's make Wonkette the fattest, grossest, richest blog in THE WORLD! Or at least make it so I can pay everyone with money, in addition to the love. If you can make it "recurring," that is even #BeBest.

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Thank you! You're welcome! Bye-bye!

And since you couldn't see it up top because "dumb template," here is THE BRILLIANT ARTS!


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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