Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Somewhat Better This Week, Thanks For Asking!

Top 10 stories? Well okay!

Last week, we may have had a small meltdown due to everyone on staff taking one or more personal days — which we told them to! they were working too hard! — so it was even more of a 70 hour workweek than usual, and maybe we weren't that elegant about it (WE FOR SURE WEREN'T! WE WERE A WHINY SON OF A B!) and JESUS CHRIST we are ALLOWED TO BE.

So if you are the lady who wrote to me, several times and would not let it gooooooo about how terrible I was, well ma'am, I'm sorry, not really, to have disappointed you. But considering nobody got screamed at in a grocery store, or even in my house, maybe give people a little leeway these days. There's a lot going on right now, and people are going to act out once in a while. The correct response — everybody should be correct at all times, yes? ALWAYS???? — is to pretend you didn't see it. The end. Now have some goddamn stories, chosen this week by Chris Cuomo's wife's pulsing electromagnometer machine.

10. People Who Want South Carolina To Have Non-Trumped-Up Senator Donate Crap-Ton Of Cash To Jaime Harrison . SER started this election season's weekly Senate race roundups! I just reminded Dok he has to write one this weekend whoops!

9. Oil Now Same Price As Pack Of Cigarettes Just Kidding Now It's Trader Joe's Wine JK Now It's Stamp JK Now It's Gum Ball JK Now It's Free . Liz explained you the oil crash lolololol sigh.

8. Jim Jordan Can't Get Corona-Drunk At The Golden Corral Buffet, And HE. IS. MAD. Evan explained you Jim Jordan can't get Corona-drunk at the Golden Corral buffet and he is mad.

7. No Haircut On Earth Can Save Alex Jones And His Merry Band Of 'ReOpen America' Jerks. You guys hung on Robyn's every word last week.

6. Weird How All These People Who Believe COVID-19 Is A Hoax Keep Dying Of It . See?

5. Dr. Fauci Probably Would've Preferred Shaking Your Unwashed Hand To This Laura Ingraham Interview . SER again, you can always count on him to yell at Laura Ingraham.

4. Idaho Anti-Vaxxer Mom Is The Rosa Parks Of Exposing Children To Deadly Viruses . Hi Dok! Don't forget to do a Senate race!

3. Life Tabernacle Church Becomes Death Tabernacle Church After Defying Stay-At-Home Orders . EEP!

2. Sean Hannity Knows How To Eat Hot Dog In Time Of Coronavirus, It Is The Easiest . Evan explained how Sean Hannity eat hot dog.

1. Kirk Cameron Wonders Why No Station Will Air Fundraiser For Anti-Gay Hate Group . So sad.

Thank you for keeping Wonkette going forever and ever, we sure do love you, if you need the address to send us a check like an Old, it is Wonkette, PO Box 361, Polson MT 59860, see you Monday unless I see you first!

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