Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Washing Its Hair!

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Apr 03, 2021

Good morning and happy Holy Saturday to you! What are you all doing for Holy Saturday? Something with cats? No shit. Okay, enough chit chat, time for Top 10!

10. Coca-Cola Doesn't Care About Your Voting Rights, They Care About Money . I think what SER is trying to say is that Coca-Cola doesn't care about your voting rights, they care about money.

9. Chief Trump Immigration Nazi Starts ACLU, The MAGA Version . From context clues, I am garnering that this is Stephen Miller, wait is that even his name? Oh my god, they are fading fading fading from my memory.

8. Trump Stumbles Into Wedding, Gives Incoherent Toast To Himself . That's a thing he did, I heard about it.

7. Oh Boy, We Need To Talk About This GRINCH Act, Because It Is ... Well, It's Something. Day 26 of Seussgate was Monday apparently, and I didn't even get you anything, I just feel awful about it.

6. Pillow Grifter Timeline Update: Trump Will Now Be President In August . Guessing this is about the Pillow Grifter and when he thinks Trump will be president again.

5. Poppy Gaetz Weighs In On Alleged Dickstortion Plot Against Idiot Son . Self-explanatory.

4. Coke, Delta Look At PISSED OFF Georgians, Get Some OId-Time Voting Rights Religion . Didn't Liz read that Coca-Cola doesn't care about your voting rights, they care about money? Oh, she did? Okay.

3. Mike Flynn's Family Sues CNN For Airing Them Shouting Q Slogans Like Some Kind Of Qooks! Sigh.

2. Politico Saw Connor And Ashley Making Out After Third Period . I don't even remember what this is about, and I was here.

1. Conservatives Cancel Shampoo, Take Bold Stand Against Letting Trans Kids Wash Their Hair . I gotta go lie down, ok bye.

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Now it is time for the pictures!

Be careful you don't get vertigo from all the wild speed racing!