Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Just Lying Around Watching Our Ass Grow
Hi loves, it's me again with your trusty Wonkette's Weekly Top 10! What will it be this time? Stories about nice things that are happy and people who are good? You shut your dirty fucking mouth. Here, para ustedes, are the top 10 stories as chosen by ... ghosts. Ghosts chose them. Makes as much sense as any other fucking thing this week.
10. What Are Tinfoil Hatters Saying About Coronavirus? Oh, Just Normal Stuff. Robyn keeping tabs on totally normal for you!
9. Italian Tenor Serenades Florence With Lovely Aria About Wanting To Marry A Very Murder-y Princess. Forget to read this one? READ IT NOW. Robyn breaks down the totally normal opera for you, it's great!
8. Good Lord, Is He Going To Crash The Market Every Day With These Batsh*t Pressers? Liz is appalled. Or is she TWO PALLEDS? I fire me for the crime of Dad joke.
7. Wonkette Recommendations For STAY THE F*CK AT HOME, Starting With STAY THE F*CK AT HOME! That was Evan. He recommended some stuff. Like STAY THE F*CK AT HOME.
6. Trump Hates Jared Now, Oh Poop! Oh poop indeed.
3. A Truth Sandwich On Barack Obama's 2009 Swine Flu Response, For President Gateway Pundit. More truth sandwiches Dok, fewer shit sandwiches. Hey, I like it: FEWER SHIT SANDWICHES 2020!
2. How Fast Can Trump Tank The Markets This Time? Let's Liveblog His Coronavirus Conference And Find Out! Turns out? Pretty darn fast.
1. Me: I Am Worried About My Mom. :(
It's been a week for the fucking world, huh? Be as kind as you can, there's no end yet in sight. Peace out, this glass of wine and bath aren't going to drink and or take themselves.
Wanna send us a check in the mail? The address you're looking for is
PO Box 361
Polson, MT 59860
or you could click the clickie below.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.