Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Waves Hello To You, Goodbye To Trump's Bitch Ass Leaving

Weekly Top Ten

Coat pants boot gloves by mama, if by "by" you mean "stolen from"

Who feels better already? YOU TOO? Yay! Mama, who is holding down this couch just in case something happens to gravity, is taking up to 30 minutes, but probably more like 25, away from her much-needed sloth to bring you this week's top 10 stories as chosen by a 'vette of Barbies. That's how much I love you!


Ready? STORIES!

10. Trump Too Busy Golfing To Care That Downtown Nashville Blew Up. Oh, just a domestic terrorist blowing up a southern city, clearly no big, no?

9. Laura Loomer Laughed Out Of Court Again, This Time For Suing The Muslims. As one does.

8. German Pilot Draws Dick In Sky For Most Helpful, Educational Reason! You guys are so predictable! Evan writes about Skypenis, it is in the top 10.

7. Virginia Cop Fired After SOMEBODY Posted Very Murdery Things Using His Parler Profile. Oh no, well I'm sure the police union will get his job back.

6. Proud Boys Get Deplatformed. Literally. No room at the inn.

5. Dennis Prager's Fake University Flunks Civil War History, Human Decency. This was really something.

4. Congress's Dumbest Man Files Election Lawsuit That Would Make A Krakenhead Blush. I don't even remember which one this is, there are so, so many.

3. And A Merry Holly Jolly Good Dr. Anthony S. Fauci Day Also To You! How did you celebrate? We did the traditional baking of the pies.

2. Happy New Year, America! Your Friends And Family May Be Absolute F*cking Morons. No, we don't know what to do about it either.

1. Here Is Donald Trump Junior Negging His Girlfriend Because He Is So Good At 'Joke'. This fucking guy. And yes of course she sucks, so what.

Whew, there you have it, this week's top 10 stories as chosen by a 'vette of Barbies! Like so!


Not sure why Barbie is letting Ken drive her car, I hope Donna Rose isn't regressive.

And so!


Faerie crown by Wonker Thee Faerie Ring

And so!


Fashion

And so!


Callyson sent us a Sephora gift card and now we are all wearing MAKEUP.

There, I gave you the pictures AHEAD OF TIME! Remember to send us money! Or send us money! Or send us money! Or just send us money! Goodbye!

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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