World Glad John McCain Was Not Elected Because of This Weird Tweet

News

August 29, 2011 02:47 PM

"Math" suggests John McCain does not believe he would have lived through his first presidential term if he had won! Hahahaha, Jesus, Sarah Palin was almost your President. THAT WAS SO CLOSE, never forget. [Twitter]

Wonkette

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Even Fox News Can't Make Finland Trump-Shits Smell Like Roses :(

'Who took that giant crap on the floor?' said Cavuto and Varney, rising from a squat and pulling up their pants.

Russia

And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!

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Republicans Love Their Russian Puppet President Trump

The president's probably a traitor, but what can you do?

Russia

Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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