World Markets Falling, Debt Ceiling Blah Blah, It’s the Immigrants’ Fault
Ah, the smell of chaos in the morning. World markets are alreadydown today as Washington's leaders continue to breed new debt ceiling plans like rabbits attached to jumbo IV bags of Viagra, mostly so they can fling the little newborn wabbits at the wall and watch them die a bloody death. John Boehner declared briefly over the weekend that a deal would be reached on Sunday to avoid freaking out Asian markets by the time of their Monday opening, but this turns out to have been just another one of his little "jokes." Haha, it was funnier the first time! Meanwhile, 42% of Americans are still kind of "meh" about the entire concept of raising the debt ceiling, 35% "have no opinion" about financial apocalypse, and a mere 22% favor the concept of sane logic. Why is a plurality of Americans still upset about raising the debt ceiling? Possibly "teh immuhgrents?"
Gallup bravely asked some Americans to write in their answers for why they do not want to raise the debt ceiling, which predictably included such sound economic principles as "raising the debt ceiling would hurt the economy" and "immigrants" among their reasoning.
Enjoy some of the verbatim responses written by respondents to the Gallup survey (with spelling fixed by Gallup, boo for humor):
IT INCREASES INFLATION, AND DECREASES THE VALUE OF OUR DOLLAR
DON'T NEED ANY MORE TAXES
IT'S NOT RESOLVING THE ONGOING PROBLEM
WE HAVE ENOUGH DEBT ALREADY
OUR PRESIDENT SHOULD REEL IN HIS SPENDING. PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING
RAISING THE DEBT CEILING WOULD HURT THE ECONOMY
BAD MANAGEMENT OF THE GOVERNMENT
WE CAN'T AFFORD ADDITIONAL DEBT
WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO OUR PAY OUR DEBTS BEFORE SPENDING MORE