Washington Post Says Joe Biden Likes Cookies And Gatorade And Being A Very Good Boy!

Also weightlifting. It says he likes weightlifting.


We are just glad they added "weightlifting" at the beginning of this Washington Post profile about How The President Spends His Day, because otherwise yeah, we get it, he sounds kinda old. Or like a toddler. Like a very elderly toddler!

Awww he likes birthdays and Gatorade! Orange Gatorade, in particular! And cookies! Many cookies! Everybody loves Joe Biden's cookies!

The basket of apples that Obama kept in the Oval Office is long gone, as is the red button on the Resolute Desk that Trump pressed to summon a Diet Coke. Instead, Biden has stocked the outer Oval Office with salt water taffy — from Dolle's, a staple of the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach, Del. — and his favorite chocolate chip cookies. In a nod to covid, each cookie is individually enclosed in a wrapper with a gold White House seal, making them hot commodities among staff and visitors.

And sometimes, when he gets hungry in the middle of the day, when there is a rumble in his belly, he takes his lunchbox to meetings and has peanut butter and jelly!

Biden sometimes takes his lunch on the go to various meetings, in what [Democratic Senator Chris] Coons described as "not quite a lunch pail, but it's his little bag of stuff, so if he gets peckish in a meeting he can have something healthy" — often a protein bar, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a travel-size orange Gatorade.

"He has the tastes of a 5-year-old," a longtime Biden adviser quipped.

Pause to note how this is kind of adorable when the president is a competent, compassionate man who loves this country and is not a criminal, whereas if this were Donald Trump we'd be mocking it mercilessly. Kinda like how we were like AWWWW YAY when Biden got to go to Michigan and drive a truck, as opposed to when they'd throw Truck Day for Trump. Then again, Biden's Truck Day would never be followed by one million leaks from White House officials about how they had Truck Day because the baby was in a fit of rage and needed to be distracted from the witch hunts.

The profile really is fun though. It's from Ashley Parker, who talks about how scripted Biden's day is, and how regular, from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m., when he goes back up to the residence. (Almost like somebody who goes to work in the morning, instead of staying in the residence Executive Timing himself with one hand inside his robe and his other hand switching the clicker between Fox News and OAN.)

Biden reportedly does weightlift in the mornings, and he meets with a personal trainer several times a week. Does he have that Peloton in the White House? SHHHHH it's a "state secret." He doesn't watch TV all morning, but he watches CNN or "Morning Joe" sometimes. He reads actual news, with his eyes, and without moving his lips to sound out the words. He has lunch with Vice President Kamala Harris once a week, just like he did with President Barack Obama. He flits around and visits staffers at their desks.

He gets the President's Daily Brief EVERY DAY, like a common person who is president, and so does Harris. Sometimes he plays with his dogs when he wants to take a break.

And he has COOKIES! And chocolate chip ice cream! And also a soup and salad for lunch, often with grilled chicken on it, ew gross, where are the Big Macs?

Oh, and this is just incredibly nice:

Obama received a folder each night containing 10 letters that individual Americans had written him. Biden has continued the tradition, but where Obama would often pen return missives, Biden's aides have arranged for him to meet some of the writers in person.

Preston Lee, a transgender man and Army veteran from Alpharetta, Ga., wrote Biden to thank him for lifting Trump's ban on transgender people serving the military. "I served one tour in Afghanistan under the Obama administration from 2010 to 2011," wrote Lee, 36. "My family and I breathe so much easier with you and Vice President Kamala in office. Thank for lifting the ban on transgender soldiers. I felt like I was being 'erased' for the last four years."

Lee, expecting a form letter in return, was surprised to receive instead a voice mail from a White House aide, who told him the team had read his letter, found it "very powerful" and wanted to arrange for him and his spouse, who is nonbinary, to meet Biden when the president traveled to Atlanta for an upcoming event.

Also he just really loves spending time with his family and calls his wife constantly and likes reading weird news about World's Oldest Woman on his iPhone. Sometimes he reportedly calls his grandkids when he's trying to procrastinate on doing something he isn't in the mood to do. He talks to Hunter every night.

And he reviews his briefing book for the next day, so he is ready anew for when he makes the short walk back to the Oval Office the following morning.

Point is, we have a real president again. Annnnnnnd he's kind of an old goofball. And he's smart. And he gives a shit. And ... COOKIES!

We won't spoil the rest of the profile, go read it yourself.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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