World's Great Memory Haver Donald Trump Not Sure If He Ever Met Vladimir Putin, Yeah, That's The Ticket!
Here I am with my conscience, Jimi...y Carter, yeah, that's it!
Republican nominee Donald Trump had the best weekend, y'all, simply yuuge. Not satisfied with merely smearing the grieving mother of a fallen American hero, Trump used a Sunday network show to flash his foreign policy chops and cement his reputation for straight talk.
Trump pronounced no fewer than THREE stances on Russia's involvement with Ukraine in the course of a couple of sentences with ABC's George Stephanopoulos. Snuffleupagus somehow managed to continue the interview without dislocating his jaw, and we have to say we're impressed!
Trump said that Russia isn't going to invade Ukraine, other than of course, already having done that, and anyway, it's Obama's fault. All served with a side of word salad that caused Sarah Palin to shed tears of joy.
TRUMP: Well, look, you know, I have my own ideas. He's not going into Ukraine, OK?
Just so you understand. He's not going to go into Ukraine, all right?
You can mark it down and you can put it down, you can take it anywhere you want.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Well, he's already there, isn't he?
TRUMP: OK, well, he's there in a certain way, but I'm not there yet. You have Obama there. And frankly, that whole part of the world is a mess under Obama, with all the strength that you're talking about and all of the power of NATO and all of this, in the meantime, he's going where -- he takes -- takes Crimea, he's sort of -- I mean...
What prompted the question was a last-minute change by the GOP platform committee to back off a call to supply arms to the government of Ukraine, which in addition to having Crimea snatched away by Russia in 2014 is battling a Russian-armed and reinforced insurgency in its eastern provinces.
Obviously, evidence points to the campaign led by Paul Manafort (former employee of Ukraine's previous Russian-backed president) being involved in that change, and just as obviously, Manafort denied it right to Chuck Todd's goatee.
You may recall that last week Trump busted out his imitation of Jon Lovitz's Tommy Flanagan character from 1980s "Saturday Night Live," intending to mock the Hillary Clinton campaign for lying all the time like how they do (they weren't). Trump enjoyed playing the president of the Pathological Liars Association so much that he has now usurped the office. He now denies the close relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin he has often claimed in the past.
TRUMP: No, just so you understand, he said very nice things about me, but I have no relationship with him. I don't -- I've never met him.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Yet you said for three years, '13, '14 and '15, that you did have a relationship with him.
TRUMP: No, look, what -- what do you call a relationship?
I mean he treats me...
STEPHANOPOULOS: I'm asking you.
TRUMP: -- with great respect. I have no relationship with Putin. I don't think I've ever met him. I never met him. I don't think I've ever met him.
In multiple interviews now, Donald J. Flanagan has said that he never met Vladimir Putin, it turns out, he doesn't even know what he looks like, yeah, that's it! He's never even heard the NAME before, and what's more neither has his wife, Morgan Fairchild! Except for that one time, when they were stablemates during a 60 Minutes interview, and went out later for drinks and danci...bear wrestling! Yeah, that's the ticket, they wrestled POLAR bears at the ice rink at Radio City Music Hall, which Trump owns and lives in and where he wrote and starred in "30 Rock."