Sorry, there's no cigars involved. And not even any POTUS. Possibly, however, some amusing partisanship. The facts: college student Jess Smyth campaigned for Kerry, served as president of the College Democrats at Penn, and still got a job this summer as a WH volunteer in the Office of Correspondence. And then, on May 23, she actually showed up for work:

At the end of the day, throughout which I mostly sorted letters, my supervisor came in and told me that due to a stricter intern policy that security was enforcing, until I received FBI clearance, I could not return. They indicated that they weren't sure how quickly it would be processed: no timeline was given, but they would call me.

Right. Just like Clinton told Monica. And, then, no calls, no letters, and finally, after nine days of the cold shoulder, Smyth decided to take another job. It's reassuring to know that the FBI has adopted a "stricter intern policy" -- you definitely don't want copy machines getting into the hands of potential terrorists. But like various others, we're wondering -- was Smyth blown off because of her affiliation with the dark side? She'd been upfront about her background on her application, so it wasn't any secret. But nine days to get clearance on a college student who'd already turned in her clearance forms weeks earlier? Maybe that's just what happens when you don't have the good sense to use an attention-getting pseudonym like Jeff Gannon. — GREG BEATO

Penn College Dems President Gets White House Internship... for a few days [PoliticsPA]