* After George Bush cut down the cherry tree, he rounded up a bunch of Arabs and ran voltage through their testicles until they confessed. [Andrew Sullivan]

* Petraeus will kill his way to a Nobel Peace Prize because like it said in that book, war is peace. [Hit & Run]

* One douchebag deserves another. [Michelle Malkin]

* Paultards will rejoice and Dr. Congressman Paul will be our independent president. [Political Wire]

* That Alabama preacher is still dead from doing crazy gay shit. [Fresh Intelligence]