Write Your Own 'Washington Times' Story -- and Save!
Liberal [plural noun] [verb] a [abstract noun] to [verb] Bush
By ["Journalist" name]
[vaguely snide comment]
Liberal [same plural noun] -- [Vietnam reference, general dislike of hippies] -- plan to [slightly sinister noun] near the [somewhere inconvenient for liberals to be] tonight, [description of annoying, ineffective action] to [verb phrase that makes the President sound like a victim] the President's [important, non-annoying President-related action].
[couple hundred words unrelated to the lead, inserted because the lead wasn't actually news and this story isn't actually interesting]
Susan Sarandon, Jane Fonda, Harry Belafonte and Sean Penn [repeat as necessary]