Yes, Virginia, There Is No War Against Christmas
Is everybody sitting down? No? OK, then, we won't ask why you operate your computers standing up, and more important, we will give you time to seat--and collect--yourselves for the following mind-blowing revelation: One of Bill O'Reilly's key assertions in his heroic prosecution of the beleaguered-believer side of the War Against Christmas APPEARS NOT ACTUALLY TO BE TRUE.
We know. Take some deep breaths here and prepare yourselves: The Plano, Tex., Superintendant of Schools, Douglas J. Otto, has circulated a memo disputing the veracity of O'Reilly's claim that students in the Plano District's Caligula-like Christmas-deriding orbit were not permitted to wear red and green. (The cable crusader was maddeningly silent whether the individual sporting of red or green alone counted as a sin against the mad flavor of Plano secularism.)
The Plano District also notes the following:
Dr. Otto said that our attorney requested of Mr. O'Reilly that, in the future, he ask his fact checkers to do a more thorough job of confirming the facts before he airs them.
Dr. Otto also requested that Santa bring him an invisible raygun and a nice brown spotted pony. Because you know, it's not like reporters get shitcanned for inventing their own stories based in Texas. -- HOLLY MARTINS
School Says O'Reilly Fabricated Dress Code Story [Romenesko]