Yes, You Still Have Postmaster General Louis DeJoy To Kick Around, And Sadly Might For A While!

Yes, You Still Have Postmaster General Louis DeJoy To Kick Around, And Sadly Might For A While!

Garbage Human Louis DeJoy

The Washington Post reported Wednesday night that Postmaster General Louis DeJoy is under FBI investigation related to possible campaign finance violations in his former life in North Carolina as the gazillionaire CEO of shipping company New Breed Logistics. And while Your Wonkette is just as excited as anyone at the prospect of sticking it to the asshole who's trying to Ayn Rand the US Postal Service, we are keeping our excitement in check. Like, totally in check. Because, brass tacks, nothing is going to come of this. At all. Ever.


See, back in September, allegations emerged that DeJoy had encouraged employees to donate to Republican political campaigns with promises to make it up to them "down the road."

"Louis was a national fundraiser for the Republican Party. He asked employees for money. We gave him the money, and then he reciprocated by giving us big bonuses," DeJoy's longtime HR director David Young told the Post. "When we got our bonuses, let's just say they were bigger, they exceeded expectations — and that covered the tax and everything else."

And indeed Republican politicians scooped up more than a million dollars from New Breed employees between 2000 and 2014, which would seem to support the allegation that DeJoy was making illegal strawman donations by having his employees donate in their own names and reimbursing them later.

But! Before we get all warm in our bathing suit bits, a few things to remember:

  1. There's a five-year statute of limitations on campaign finance violations, and 2014 is ... more than that;
  2. There's no statute of limitations on North Carolina's campaign finance law, but the Wake County prosecutors' office already took a flyer on this one;
  3. The Postal Service Inspector General already looked into it and declined to bring charges;
  4. House Oversight Chair Carolyn Maloney already took DeJoy's deposition in an investigation of these allegations, and bupkiss;
  5. Campaign Legal Center filed an FEC complaint about the DeJoy story, and again bupkiss;
But, sixth and most of all, this is a rich white guy crime and it's got a rich white guy standard of proof. So not only would prosecutors have to prove that he did it, but they'd have to prove that he knew it was a crime. And DeJoy may be a cartoon villain, but he's not a bloody idiot.
The chances that he drafted an email saying, "Hey, Stan, please max out your donation to state Rep. Voldemort's reelection campaign, I'll get it back to you plus enough extra to cover the taxes as part of your Christmas bonus," is basically zero. We're talking about events that took place a decade or more ago where most of the witnesses would themselves be participants in the crime itself if they agreed to go along with the straw-man scheme. It's never going to happen.

And while we're popping bubbles, let's remind ourselves that we appear to be stuck with DeJoy for the moment. President Joe Biden did get his three nominees confirmed to the Postal Service Board, but DeJoy's got allies among the other two Democratic board members (no, we don't know why either), meaning it's highly unlikely that there will be five members who vote to remove him.

But God bless Rep. Bill Pascrell for trying.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer here, but Here On Planet Earth ... it ain't happening. At least not right now. But while we're discussing DeJoy and his $1.1 million contribution to Trump's reelection campaign, thanks to NBC for pointing out that just four years ago RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel proudly announced the four co-chairs of the Finance Leadership Team.

Steve Wynn resigned as chair of his eponymous casino conglomerate after multiple allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced. Michael Cohen went to jail for campaign finance violations. Elliott Broidy was pardoned by Trump after pleading guilty to violating the Foreign Agents Registration Act. Which means DeJoy is the last man standing.

They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps. And they are exactly right.

[WaPo / WaPo]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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