Yet Another Romeo Trying To Sweep Missouri's Woman Voters Off Their Slutty Feet! Oooh La La!

Okay, Missouri. We get it, you're a swing state with a lot of Republicans. Shit happens. But seriously, what the hell is going on with your state's GOP? Is it something in the water?

Once is a mistake.

Congressman Todd "LEGITIMATE RAPE" Akin

Twice is a pattern.

Governor Eric "Tied My Mistress Up Naked And Photographed Her To Keep Her Silent ALLEGEDLY" Greitens

Three times is a habit.

Senate Candidate Courtland "My Daughters Better Not Be Nail-Biting Manophobic Hell-Bent Feminist She Devils" Sykes

But four times? FOUR? COME ON PEOPLE!

If Missouri Attorney General Josh Hawley wins the Republican primary, he'll challenge Claire McCaskill for her Senate seat this coming November. McCaskill is one of the most vulnerable Democratic incumbents this cycle, running in a state that Trump won in 2016 by 18 points. Luckily, McCaskill has a secret weapon: All her opponents are idiots. She beat Todd Akin by 16 points in 2012 after his comments about magical uteruses which have "ways to shut that whole thing down" if a pregnancy results from a "legitimate rape."

That's a high bar. Josh, whatcha got for us?

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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