Yet Another Shocking Election Result In Nowhereville


  • Angry voters in a state dominated by conservative white people have turned on their long-running Congressman! Alan Mollohan has represented the good people of his slice of West Virginia for 28 years now, but his support for that tax-demon Obama's various West Virginia-destroying schemes, like cap-and-trade and the health care plan that will pay for abortions for everybody, finally did him in, and he was so hated that voters preferred State Senator Mike Oliverio, whose name ends in a vowel. Is this terrible news for the Democrats? Eh, probably not, because Oliverio is a Democrat too, it was just a damn primary. Oliverio might even have a better chance to beat the Republican dude in November. So, yay for another Democrat legislator who will live in constant terror of his moronic constituents! [AFP]
  • In other pointless election news, Jimmy Carter's grandson won a special election to the Georgia State Senate, despite the fact that literally everyone in Georgia hates Jimmy Carter. [NYT]
  • Nobody is responsible for the bizarre Wall Street implosion last week, hooray! [BBC]
  • A lonely Michelle Obama has started hanging out with Bill Frist, because of their shared fear of fat kids. [Politico]

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