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CANCEL YOUR PLANS TONIGHT, BECAUSE YOU GOT PLANS TONIGHT!

Yes, loves, there is a Democratic debate tonight. Now, we know — we know — that there might be a wee bit of debate fatigue setting in. WE KNOW. But we need you to suck it up, because at last, for finally, people are voting now. Yes. For real. We have had an Iowa caucus and a New Hampshire primary, Pete Buttigieg has a narrow lead in delegates, followed by Bernie Sanders in second place. Joe Biden has crashed and burned so far, and other people have also gotten votes and delegates, like Elizabeth Warren and Amy Klobuchar!

This weekend, there is a Nevada caucus, and then at the end of this month there is a South Carolina primary. Then comes Super Tuesday, and people are already voting in a lot of those states. Like, for literal, we could personally leave our house after we finish writing this and immediately go vote in our home state of Tennessee. (But we're NOT GONNA, because we have NOT DECIDED who we are voting for.)

In other words, after 767 months of primary, we have actually reached the official starting line, which means the finish line is finally in sight.

TIME TO TUNE IN, BOZOS.


As for what to expect tonight, well, Michael Bloomberg is in it for the first time. We bet you have opinions on that! Regardless, expect literally everybody else on that stage — Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, Pete Buttigieg — to just absolutely go psycho on him. If you like FIGHTS, this is going to be a debate you want to watch.

They got zingers:


They got some zingers for Donald Trump too:

Want to read some poll porns about the state of the primary? Read some poll porns!

Here is what you need to know about tonight's debate, and tonight's Wonkette liveblog:

WILL THERE BE LIVEBLOG? Yes. By Rebecca! And since impeachment is over, we will be here too, if we need to tag-team this thing.

DO WE HAVE TO? YES, we already said yes, we said yes.

WHO IS IT? The ones we mentioned higher up in this post.

NO TOM STEYER OR THAT ASSHOLE TULSI GABBARD? Nope.

ARE THEY REALLY GONNA BEATED UP MICHAEL BLOOMBERG? If they don't, this season needs new writers.

WHAT CHANNEL IS IT? It is an MSNBC/NBC debate, so on your television is where you watch it. Also on internet at NBCNews.com or the Nevada Independent, because the debate is in Vegas ahead of the Nevada caucuses. Or on the NBC News or MSNBC Facebook pages (which means we miiiiiight be able to embed it here at Ye Olde Wonkette). Or on the NBC News app. LOOK, YOU HAVE OPTIONS.

OK FINE WHAT TIME? 9:00 PM Eastern, "time" in other time zones.

OK FINE HOW LONG? Two hours.

OK FINE HOW LONG REALLY? Probably more like 678 hours.

OK WHO IS ASKING THE DUMB QUESTIONS? That would be Chuck Todd (ugh) and Hallie Jackson and Lester Holt and Telemundo's Vanessa Hauc and the Nevada Independent's own Jon Ralston, who is pretty great.

NO RACHEL MADDOW? Sadly no, but she is doing the MSNBC pre-show if you want to watch that.

OK FINE WE WILL BE THERE. Fuck yes you will.

HOW DO WE GIVE YOU DOLLARS TO PRE-THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR US DURING THIS TIME OF "DEBATE"? Click the buttons below, we love you, goodbye, see you later, OPEN THREAD!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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