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[contextly_sidebar id="QIqD7os0bl3cJ9E21S14jBh9sD5rwz3y"]Y'ALL. It's Saturday! You're probably like "Gah Evan, why do we have to look upon the hotness of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau again THIS SUCKS." That's because you're bad at life. But we can explain. First of all, you brokeded the internet with that post last week about Barry Bamz and Trudeau making sweet sex eyes at each other. Wait, that's incorrect, YOU did not break the internet. I DID. Because I wrote the post! The sexy North American leaders helped, though. Anyballs, the point is that the internet got broke so hard, ooh so hard baby, that that is the top post of the week AGAIN.

Okay now we have splained you (not the first time, won't be the last) let's count down the top ten stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY.

1. WE JUST SPLAINED YOU, YOU BIG DUMBOCRAPS. But here's that link again if you need it.

2. For this week's Off The Menu (in the #2 spot again because TAKE THAT FOOD BOY!), it was tales of Restaurant Injuries And Essplosions!

3. Can someone please come and collect Ann Coulter? We are just asking. Anyone?

4. Hey guys, how about a post from 2014 about John Kasich being an asshat? Would you like to read something like that?

5. Wanna watch Marco Rubio disappear all over again? Then go back and read our liveblog of Marco Rubio losing and Hillary Clinton winning ALL THE THINGS.

6. Shocked by a complete lack of ethics at Breitbart, gal reporter and boy wonder dildo brain Ben Shapiro resign. Aww.

7. Here are some Tennessee state reps who will stiff you on tips AND be total assholes about it.

8. Hey guys, how about a post from 2015 that was in this exact same spot last week? South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley really wishes black folks wouldn't be so ugly about getting shot by police. She probably still wishes that, just like John Kasich is still an asshat.

9. Here is your recap of that new Duggar show. Are you happy now?

10. And finally, silly drunk mess Sarah Palin drunk-stumps for Trump in Florida just before going home to nurse Todd back to health. He was in A Accident, remember?

So there you go! Your top stories of the week. They are all AMAZING, right? Thank you for saying that! If you love your Wonkette and want to help keep our staff happy, please to click this link and throw $5 dollars at our faces, will ya? We love you and offer a pic of Wonkette Baby Donna Rose as a token of our appreciation while you are deciding which credit card to swipe on us.

PEACE, HATERS.

Love,

Wonket

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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